


The Author, The Reader, And Six Skeletons

by Lemning



Category: Underfell-fandom, Underswap-Fandom, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Adult Themes, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Breaking the Fourth Wall, F/M, Fluff, Lot of language, Multi, Multiple Timelines, No Smut, Reader is passive agressive, Reverse Harem, Sorry Not Sorry, cringe worthy puns, fast paced style, lots of fluff, maybe angst?, more tags will be added, okay there will be angst, reader is female, reader likes ginger tea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-03-11 07:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13518954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemning/pseuds/Lemning
Summary: You've recently moved in to an apartment with rather strange neighbors. Each monster seemed to be a mystery, not to mention what lies in store for you.This is a puzzle. It may be intimidating at first but after a while you will piece it together, and this picture will become visible.haha... after all, if I didn't make this interesting then why would you want to finish this puzzle?





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I've written before and all but I haven't really put many of my stories on the internet.  
> Well, I guess this will be a learning experience.  
> Let me know if this gets too interesting.

“Hey.”

You opened your eyes. You sat before my desk in an upholstered chair.

“Hey, kiddo, how’s it going?” I asked you, pressing my hands together and resting my elbows against my desk.

“What?” You asked, confused.

“Oh… gimme a sec.” I snapped my fingers, a kettle and two tea cups appearing before us. “Do you like Earl Grey or ginger tea? Or… are you a coffee person?” I snapped my fingers again, a container of instant coffee appearing this time, “Sorry, can’t afford the expensive stuff…”

“Um… ginger tea’s fine.” You replied simply and I nodded, pouring the water into your cup and passing you a pot of sugar.

“I hope you like it, I'm trying a different brand.” I poured hot water into my tea cup, bobbing the tea a couple times before adding sugar and cream. “Would you like scones or tea biscuits?”

“What kind do you have?”

“Just normal scones with clotted cream and jam and uh… Biscoff.” I held out a red and white package.

“I’ll take a few biscuits, thank you.” You thought you were reading a story about six skeletons so this struck you as somewhat confusing. Who was this-

“Who am I?” I asked you before you could finish your thought. “Um… well, I go by many names, you can call me… the uh, the author."

“Uh…”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you miss.” I smiled, spreading clotted cream onto my scone.

“Nice to meet you too.”

“Before you say anything else, I know, I know, you want to begin your story with six skillies filled with romance, comedy, and drama. Just wanted to say hi.”

“Oh okay.”

“Also I wanted to get to know you too I mean, we’re probably going to be spending a while with each other, with me narrating your story and all.”

“Sorry, I’m… just not used to this kind of well…”

“Prologue? Yeah… just wanted to shake things up a bit, y’know?”

“So…” You started fidgeting in your seet.

“Huh?” I looked over my glasses and saw your pursed lips and your anxious expression. “OH! Sorry, how silly of me!” I pulled a piece of paper out of my desk. “A word search, something to keep you busy.” I handed you it and a mechanical pencil.

“Um, that’s not what I-”

“Wait… are you more of a junior jumble kind of person? Here I have that too.” I handed you yet another piece of paper, “or normal word jumble if you’re feeling adventurous.”

“Wait! I know that you’re the author and all and… kinda in control of this, but can you move the story along a bit quicker?” You bit your lower lip and tapped your foot out of frustration.

“Gosh… calm down. Patience is a virtue, kiddo.” I stretched and cracked my knuckles. “I’ll get there soon… look, I’m writing this in google docs, it hasn’t even been two pages yet, you can wait.” I adjusted my glasses and smiled, returning to my original position. “Now… I’m sure you tea’s cooled down, kiddo.” I gestured to you full tea cup.

“Right.” You said taking a sip of your ginger tea.

“Sooooo? What do you think?”

“It’s… actually, it’s really nice!” You let out a small laugh and look another sip.

“Glad ya like it!” I smiled enthusiastically and pulled out a pen, twirling it my fingers. I sat like this watching you intently as you worked through the crossword.

“Do you need something?” You asked after a few minutes passed.

“Nope, I’m good.” I replied letting a few more minutes pass before I stood, clearing my throat.

“Okay. Time to get going.” I adjusted the collar on my flannel shirt and grabbed a bright blue winter jacket out of the air. “Here…” I tossed you a gray winter jacket.

“So, the story’s finally starting?”

“Um… I guess you could say that.” I replied and tied my hair back into a ponytail. I left my jacket still unzipped.

“Wait a second- I’m still a little confused-”

“Don’t worry, it’ll make sense in just a couple more paragraphs.” I grabbed my tea cup off of my desk, turning it into a travel sized mug. “Mmmk, let’s get goin’ kiddo.” I teleported us both the an empty street before a tall apartment building.

“Whoa! You can do that?” You jumped back.

“What? Thought only skeletons could teleport? I’m the author. I can do anything.” I took a sip of my tea. “It’s Friday evening, year 20XX, it’s late Febuary…  and… by the looks of it, it’s beginning to snow.” I held out my hand to catch a single flurry. You shivered slightly and zipped your coat, pulling your hood over your head.

“Follow me.” I said, flicking my wrist and turning on the streetlamps as I stepped up to the apartment building. You followed close behind, I opened the door and entered after you. “You recently found a job downtown, it’s a nice office job, pays pretty well… anyway, you found an apartment to move in to. The rent’s fairly priced and the apartments are decently sized.”

“Which floor?” You asked me once we strolled into the elevator.

“Um…” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a paper. “The third floor.” you nodded and pressed the button.

We walked out of the elevator and down the hall with you trailing behind me. “Here it is… the moving truck will be here soon.” I stopped at a door and handed you a pair of keys. “The silver one’s the door key and the copper colored one is the mail key.”

“Thanks.” You unlocked your door and stepped into the empty room. “Woah. what kind of apartment did you get me?” You stepped in and stared at the large room. It was an open floor plan, the kitchen almost immediately to the right and the living room or family room to the left. There was a bar and a sliding glass window with a balcony. There was a hallway further to the right that led to the master bedroom, a guest bedroom and a full bathroom.

We had managed to tour the house in only a few seconds, leaving you dumbfounded.

“It’s magic. I only really used a couple sentences to describe the house sooo…” You nodded after I said that and let a sigh escape your mouth.

“Wow.” You giggled.

“Remember to stay in character kiddo… well… I’m sure you can do that, it won’t be too hard. Heck, you’ve probably already done this before.” I smiled and pat your head. “Want some help moving in?”

“Sure.”

* * *

 

“That’s the last one.” I said once you stepped through the door, a cardboard bow held tightly in your arms.

“You didn’t help. _At all_.” You huffed, brushing a stray piece of hair out of your face.

“Sure I did.” I gestured to all the round dining room table, the tables and chairs and the loveseat in the living room. “Do you know how hard it was to cary all of that up?”

“You just snapped your fingers.”

“Perhaps… but still. It’s not my story. Kiddo, you should be glad I helped at all.” I shrugged and went back to my tea. “I’m not even supposed to be talking to you like this right now.”

“What do you mean?” you stood behind the bar where I sat.

“Well, usually the only time that I can talk to a reader is through the previous and ending notes… guess you could call what I’m doing ‘breaking the fourth wall’.”

“No shit.” you pulled a glass out of an opened box and began washing it in the sink.

“Yeah… look… I’m gonna be here the whole time- not physically but you know what I mean. I’m the author.” I stretched and you filled your glass with water after it was cleaned and took a sip. You raised a brow and nodded.

“I know… I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“What the whole, meeting the author thing?” I asked and you nodded. “I figured you might freak a bit cuz it’s not often that this happens.” I chuckled and rested my elbow on the bar.

“Don’t worry though, kiddo. Your story really will begin here soon.” I stood and smiled. “I have a couple rules though, kiddo.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have a couple rules that will ensure a happy ending.” my expression turned grim. “First of all, you know what’s going to happen. Within time you’re going to meet six monsters. You cannot tell them that you know them… even if you do. I’m sure this will be an easy task. Secondly… whatever you say or do will change alter the story, even if you think that it will not, remember that there’s always someone listening. Thirdly, in time I’m sure that you will develop… romantic feelings for a few of these characters. Even if you become attached to them, _you cannot tell them of anything outside of this story or about the real you_. Even if they ask. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” You said after a while. These ‘rules’ didn’t sound too harsh to you but-

“There’s one more rule.” I turned away from you and my face fell. “You cannot kill anyone. If you do… I will end this story.”

“Why would I-”

“You will not kill anyone, understood?”

“Yes of course.” You replied, killing a human or monster had not once crossed your mind.

“Fine… I’m holding you to that, kiddo.” I forced a chuckle and turned back around. “I’ll check on you every once in a while. I’ll see how you’re doing and such. Don’t worry, I’ll get out of your hair here soon.” I took another sip of my tea that should’ve been cold by now.

“Do you have the power to end the story?”

“I’m not a character, kiddo. I’m the author, I’m not like you or like the other characters in this story. Sure, you’re looking at a version of me, or a character version of me right now, but these words are mine. No one can control me, I control this universe, kiddo.” I smiled and zipped up my jacket. “On that note. I should get going.” I turned, pausing before I disappear, “Remember, I’ll always be watching out for you,” I smiled sweetly before disappearing in an instant.

“Wai-” you started but I was gone.

And your story had begun.

 

End of Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAND so the story begins! let me know what you think of this so far. You don't have to but it would really help.  
> that and I'm totally narcissistic and love inflating my ego with positive comments and kudos.  
> I also love constructive criticism.  
> honestly I love any sort of feedback... because I'm really lonely.  
> welp... see ya in the next chapter kiddos.


	2. One Out of Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I somehow managed to type up another chapter in just a couple hours.  
> Also thank you for all the feedback already! I really appreciate it!

You stared at the pyramid of cardboard boxes, defeated.

“Shit.” You muttered and collapsed onto your loveseat, allowing yourself to sink into the cushions. You stared at the ceiling anda thought crossed your mind. “Hey, author, could you help me unpack?”

No response.

“I know you can hear me… can’t you?” you sat up, still staring at the ceiling. “HEY, YOU STILL TH-”

“Gosh… I’m not God .” I spoke up, creating an echo effect on my voice and not bothering to show myself. I then changed my tone to enthusiasm, “I know you can do it kiddo! I believe in you!”

“Can't you just help me out? I mean…” You thought for a second then smiled, “You’re writing this so you probably have a lot of time on your hands.”

“Hehe, you a fast learner but uh… I’m busy.”

“Oh?”

“Catching up on Game Grumps episodes, they’re done with Paper Mario… this… this is a really emotional moment right now. They’ve come so far.” I sniffled and chuckled to myself, clearing my throat, “Besides kiddo, you can’t rely on me for everything. All I’m really good for is mediocre life advice, ginger tea, and random stories I post online after finishing up homework and playing games for a while.”  You sighed and pulled yourself away from the velvety cushions, stepping over to the first cardboard box at the base of the Egyptian structure.

“Anyway, this episode is like an hour long! So I’m gonna be away for a little while.” I yawned, “Like I said, kiddo, you can do it!” and with that I was gone.

You stood silently, waiting for me to say something else, only to hear silence. You weren’t necessarily expecting to hear anything, but then again, you hadn’t really been expecting any of this. You glanced over to a simple cup of ginger tea that sat on your table. Admittedly, you were quite fond of ginger tea.

You took a deep breath and opened the first box, pulling out the packing paper. What was all this stuff anyway? You didn’t have this much did you? You glanced back up to the massive mound of boxes towering over you. No, there was no way a single person could have this much stuff.

You pulled out more packing paper only to find- packing peanuts? There was nothing in the box but filler. You froze.

“What?” You heard yourself mumble as you grabbed another box only to find the same contents. You easily grabbed two boxes, one in each hand and moved them aside. You were incredibly confused, not to mention somewhat furious due to the fact that you spent about five hours carrying these boxes into the elevator, through the halls and into your apartment. Five. Fucking. Hours.

You stared blankly as the pile of packing peanut filled boxes and the packing paper that now littered the carpeted floor. This really was wonderful. You brushed your frustration aside and began tidying up, at least the best you could, and made your way to the master bedroom.

“Oh.” You stood, surprised once again for the second time this chapter. Most of your things were already in their respective places, your lamp on your desk, your picture frame on your nightstand. The scene was somewhat familiar, not necessarily like your real room but it did somehow feel nostalgic, or perhaps that was the pleasant scent of lavender that filled the air.

Your bed was neatly made, a periwinkle comforter over the queen sized mattress, and the pillows fluffed. There was a strange book sitting on your desk. You allowed curiosity to overtake you as you traced your fingers along the cover of the book.

The title read, ‘magic for beginners.’ you felt your eyes widen and you took a seat on your bed, bouncing up slightly on impact. You opened to the first page, wrapping your fingers around the end of a sticky note. It was in messy and barely readable handwriting but you somehow managed to decode this chicken scratch.

‘Hey, kiddo, found this laying around, thought you might enjoy it! Of course, normal humans can’t perform magic but I thought you might like it! There are a few chapters about souls near the back of the chapter, make sure that no one else sees that though. That shit’s like monster porn.’ 

You felt yourself frown slightly after reading that normal humans couldn’t perform magic. You already knew this, of course, but you couldn’t help but remain hopeful.

You had to do a double take on the last sentence though, feeling a blush creep up on your cheeks. You reminded yourself not to take it with you to a cafe to read. The author had been rather blunt about the warning but you were thankful for it. You, however, weren’t necessarily sure that you wanted to read that… type of literature. You glanced to the few boxes that remained unpacked.

You stood from your bed and returned the book to its place on the desk.

You pulled your phone from your back pocket and checked the time… it was getting late. You felt you stomach growl and beg for you to appease its hunger.

Welp. You turned back to the boxes. Guess you were ordering take out. You couldn’t help but notice how quiet it was, well, now that the author was gone. You unpacked a couple boxes, determined to get at least something done before you head out.

You stepped out of the master bedroom, seeing that most of your things had been unpacked aside from a few boxes that were perhaps empty to begin with. Undoubtedly this was the author’s doing. Whatever happened to independence? Not… that you were complaining. Unpacking was often a daunting task.

You grabbed the gray jacket that lay on a chair and slipped on your shoes. You had briefly considered calling in or ordering pizza online but you figured it would’ve been good to get to know the place.

Well, your character knew where you were but you weren’t necessarily too clear on your bearings. You grabbed your keys, dropping them inside your pocket and began your journey in search of food.

Saturday.

You awoke only to smell a familiar scent… it smelled… sweet. You were barely awake enough to give this a second thought before you lazily pulled yourself out of bed and into the dining room, following your nose. You yawned and took a seat at the round dining room table, resting your head on the maple and inhaling the sweet aroma.

“Oh, you’re awake.” I stepped out of the kitchen, seeing your figure slouched in your chair. You sat up straight, obviously startled by my voice, and I chuckled in response. “I decided to stop by this morning, I’m not gonna be here for a little while afterward so I wanted to make a small ‘parting gift’, if you will.” I took a seat across from you and placed a stack of two pancakes before you.

Your eyes widened to about the size of the pancakes themselves.

“These smell delicious.” You said, amazed.

“It’s my dad’s recipe. When I was a kid he used to make them each Sunday morning.” I rested my chin in my hands and smiled sweetly.

“Thank you so much!” You couldn’t help but smile as I handed you a bottle of syrup.

“No prob.” I replied and stood, “welp… I’m gonna get out of your hair here. I’m kinda holding back the story so I’ll be on my way.” I pulled on my blue winter jacket. “I believe that you should be expecting a few guests in an hour or so. Good luck kiddo.” without speaking another word I disappeared, leaving you with your flapjacks and maple syrup.

Despite the unexpected meeting and sudden departure, you didn’t even bat an eye, instead simply returning to the delicious pancakes. Something gave you the feeling that you would be seeing the author again soon. There was something strange about her though, something that seemed off.

You dismissed this thought and turned back to your breakfast. You hadn’t noticed until then that there was a mug of what looked to be ginger tea sitting beside your plate. The mug had a cute bear painted on to the exterior and cursive letters below read ‘bear with me’ it was extremely adorable.

You smiled to yourself and took a sip, burning the roof of your mouth slightly. You flinched at the excruciating heat and finished your pancakes, which were now swimming in maple syrup. You closed your eyes and let the flavor fill your mouth for what had seemed like the first time with each bite.

After you had finished your pancakes, leaving the dining room with a full stomach, you stepped into the bathroom. You crouched beside the bathtub, running the water through your fingers and waiting until the temperature was to your liking.

You cleaned up, brushed your teeth, brushed your hair and changed into a comfortable pair of clothes. You wore a long beige shirt and a pair of gray leggings. You reminded yourself to thank the author for helping you unpack.

You entered the dining room for the second time that day and began clearing your dishes and finishing your now-cold ginger tea. You had placed your dishes into the sink when you heard a knock.

You remembered what the author had said and you turned, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You rested your hand on the doorknob, staring at the white door. Open it ! You had to tell yourself and you nodded, opening the door-

“HELLO AND GOOD MORNING!” a loud voice said before you had even opened the door fully, causing you to nearly jump. You recognized this voice.

You opened the door fully, revealing a familiar skeleton of about six feet and towering above you. He wore a red scarf and matching gloves. His white long sleeved shirt had a strange pattern on the chest. On his face was an enormous smile and you couldn’t help but smile yourself, even despite the startle.

“IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU!” the skeleton grinned. “MY NAME IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS, BUT YOU CAN JUST CALL ME PAPYRUS! MY LAZY BROTHER AND I LIVE TWO DOORS DOWN FROM YOURS AND IT’S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU!” he had borderline yelled every word, rendering you even more shocked than before. This skeleton had a lot of energy. You quickly tried to make sense of the information he had bombarded you with.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” You couldn’t help but smile, normally humans would have been a little frightened to see a monster standing at their doorstep, but you weren’t bothered at all, feeling almost as he was an old friend. You told him your name and held out your hand as if asking for a handshake.

“I APOLOGIZE, BUT MY HANDS ARE A LITTLE FULL. I WISH I COULD PARTAKE IN A HANDSHAKE…” You looked down and realized that he held two tupperware containers, one in each hand. “I HAD SEEN THAT WE WERE GETTING ANOTHER NEIGHBOR AND AWOKE EARLY THIS MORNING TO MAKE COOKIES AND MY SIGNATURE SPAGHETTI FOR YOU!”

“Oh, really? You didn’t have to.”

“NONSENSE! MY BROTHER TOLD ME THAT HUMANS OFTEN EXCHANGE ‘HOUSEWARMING GIFTS’ WHEN THEY MOVE INTO A NEW HOUSE! I FIGURED THAT NOTHING COULD BE QUITE AS HOUSEWARMING AS MY SPAGHETTI AND… COOKIES. I WASN’T TOO SURE ABOUT THE COOKIES THOUGH.” You weren’t too certain if the skeleton-Papyrus- fully understood what a housewarming gift was, but you were flattered nonetheless. You had never met this monster before but you already felt as if you two had been good friends for ages.

“Would you like to come in?” You asked, trying to be hospitable.

“YES PLEASE, THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL!” You stepped aside, allowing the skeleton into your home. You wondered for a brief moment if monsters couldn’t enter a house unless invited… you weren’t too sure.

“Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess.”

“DO NOT WORRY… I’VE SEEN WORSE…” You didn’t bother to question him on this, as it was none of your business. Well, that and he technically was a complete stranger… right? You pushed this thought aside as Papyrus made himself at home, placing the two tupperwares on the table and taking a seat.

“Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!” You said with a pure and genuine smile.

“YOU’RE WELCOME! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF MY GREAT SPAGHETTI!” he looked at you expectantly as if he wanted for you to try it now.

“Oh! I… I just had breakfast, maybe I’ll have it for lunch.” You tried to be as polite as possible. You could already tell that seeing this monster sad would break your heart.

“OH.” he replied simply, you could hear a hint of disappointment in his voice. “WELL, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK WHEN YOU DO TRY IT! I HOPE THAT WE CAN BECOME… FRIENDS?”

“Sure, that would be great!” You smiled, taking a seat beside him. “I’ll let you know what I think.”

“THANK YOU, HUMAN!” He smiled even wider- although… he was a skeleton, wasn’t he always smiling? Somehow it seemed that he could express himself quite well, despite his… lack of facial features. You had seemed to have lost yourself in your thoughts for too long, as Papyrus eventually broke the silence, checking his wrist… he didn’t have a watch.  “WELL, I AM AFRAID I MUST GET GOING!” He paused for your reaction and you snapped back into reality.

“Oh, yes, of course, sorry to keep you.” You stood and shook his hand.

“I DID NOT MIND, BUT IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, HUMAN!” He shook your hand vigorously, eventually pulling away after extending the handshake for another five seconds. “FAREWELL, I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON!” he waved as he walked out the door.

You opened the lid to the cookies, catching a small whiff. They actually smelled rather delicious, a little strange, but they did smell pretty good. They were chocolate chip, the edges were burt slightly but you didn’t mind. Before you could lose your self control, you closed the container and put them on your counter. You stashed the spaghetti inside your fridge. Spaghetti certainly was a strange housewarming gift… it was very nice of him though.

You smiled to yourself, staring at the container of spaghetti. Somewhere deep inside you, you felt something. Somehow you felt as if you were going to have a hard time finishing lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon! hopefully by the end of the week I'll have another one! (hopefully). I also have a lot of Game Grumps to catch up on. So that's how I'm going to be spending a lot of my free time!  
> Anyways, let me know if you found any grammatical errors. I think I caught them all.  
> Let me know what you think of this chapter, and if you have any ideas for this story please let me know! Any kind of feedback helps!  
> I'll see ya in the next chapter!
> 
> Edit--- thank you Goidth for helping me out with editing this chapter and fixing any errors that I missed! It would really cool if you guys checked them out on [Tumblr](https://alphagodith.tumblr.com)


	3. Two, Three, Four, and Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter took a bit longer than expected. Honestly, I'm just trying to get this story started so I have a good foundation to build on to.  
> After I've made a pretty good introduction to everything and everyone I can do whatever the fuck I want... so I look forward to that!

You returned to the boxes, unpacking glasses and plates, silverware, your old microwave, and several coffee mugs that were more likely to be used for tea than coffee. You had a nice rhythm going; unpack a box, clean the dishes inside, then place them on the drying rack to later be put in their respective cupboards and cabinets.

You had finally finished box number three when you heard yet another knock on your door. This time the knock was much more energetic. You raised your brow, surprised to have more than one ‘guest’, as the author hadn’t specified how many to expect.

This time, you opened the door to see  _ two _ skeletons before you. The shorter of the pair had his hands on his hips and wore an outfit similar to Papyrus’s, but blue instead of orange. He had a large, and probably permanent grin spread across his face. The taller skeleton wore an orange hoodie and carried a tupperware. He somehow had bags under his eye… sockets?

“Good morning. How can I help you?” You said, remembering your manners.

“WE HAVE COME TO SAY ‘HI’!” The blue skeleton said. Were all skeletons this loud?

“Oh, hello!” he, like Papyrus, had a smile that was extremely contagious.

“WE’RE YOUR NEIGHBORS, WE LIVE…” he pointed to his right, “OVER THERE!” he was simply pointing in the direction. You couldn’t help but giggle a little, this skeleton was adorable. The taller skeleton also seemed to find this amusing, as his expression curved into a lazy grin.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you mister…”

“BLUEBERRY! I, THE MAGNIFICENT BLUEBERRY, HAVE BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING CALLED A ‘HOUSEWARMING GIFT’!” Blueberry was a rather strange name but you decided not to question it. “HERE!” he took the tupperware from the taller skeleton, bouncing on his feet as he held it out for you.

You noticed that the container was covered in sparkly star stickers and… glitter glue. You were a little hesitant about taking the container from him.

“What is this?” You asked Blueberry.

“DESSERT TACOS!” what? He looked extremely enthusiastic about this.

“Oh, thank you so much!” You said, still unsure about what exactly ‘dessert tacos’ were. “Would you like to come in?” You asked, Blueberry’s eye lights sparkling and somehow resembling the shape of a star.

“SURE!” He skipped through the doorway, and gasped, looking around. You couldn’t imagine that your apartment was any different than his so this reaction brought a smile to your face. The taller skeleton strolled in, his hands buried in his hoodie pockets. He took a seat at your table, slouched. You hadn’t noticed until then that he had a… lollipop in his mouth.

“ARE YOU STILL UNPACKING?” Blueberry asked you, his eyes still sparkling. He reminded you of a small child.

“Yes, I am.” You clarified and Blueberry nodded, standing beside the taller skeleton.

“PAPY, INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO THE HUMAN!” Blueberry was jumping up and down.

“ ‘s nice to meet you.” Papy? said simply, his voice hoarse, “the name’s orange.” he held out his hand for you to shake. Orange? As in the color or the fruit?

“uh… the fruit i guess.” you heard him reply- wait, did you say that outloud?

“Sorry- I didn’t mean to be rude.” You said hastily. It would be a lie to say you weren’t intimidated by this skeleton, you didn’t want to get on his bad side.

“it’s fine kid!” He chuckled, “ _ tibia _ honest i was wondering the same.” was that a skeleton joke?

“PAPY!” Blueberry groaned. “HUMANS DON’T LIKE BAD PUNS!”

“sure they do.”

“DO THEY?” Blueberry turned to you, a hint of worry in his voice. You let out a sigh and smiled to yourself.

“I have to agree with you Blueberry, his joke wasn’t very  _ humerus _ .” You couldn’t help it. Both of the skeletons fell silent, Blueberry’s jaw dropping and Orange stifling a laugh.

“THAT WAS REALLY BAD.” the shorter skeleton finally said, crossing his arms. You smiled and took a seat, resting your chin in your hands. You felt as if you had been friends with these skeletons forever. Because you have. It was nice to know that they were welcoming. Orange was still chuckling to himself.

“nice one.” Orange pulled his hand out of his hoodie pocket and gave you a thumbs up.

“PLEASE DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM.” Blueberry pleaded. You couldn’t help but giggle.

“Hey, do you have a  _ femur _ jokes?” Orange asked and you realized that you opened a can of worms.

“TIME TO GO!” Blueberry said before you could reply. The shorter skeleton jumped out of his seat and tugged on Orange’s hoodie, dragging him to the front door. “THANK YOU FOR INVITING US INTO YOUR WONDERFUL HOUSE! WE’LL SEE YOU LATER!” he ran out with Orange before you could even say ‘bye’.

Man. Skeletons were strange. Their kindness was admirable but…

You stepped over to the counter and looked at the container of ‘dessert tacos’. Were all monsters this strange? You sighed and opened the container to see exactly what these tacos were.

They looked… somewhat normal. They had normal taco shells. That was about it. The contents appeared to be pink and blue frosting sprinkled with (edible?) glitter. There were several white chocolate chips and rainbow sprinkles every now and then. Not to be rude but these ‘tacos’ looked like a heart attack on a plate.

You closed the container and put it in the fridge beside the spaghetti. You scrunched up your nose slightly. You weren’t too sure that you wanted to try these ‘dessert tacos’ but you didn’t want to be rude either. Before you had even closed the fridge door, you heard yet another knock on your door.

Already? Perhaps Orange and Blueberry had come back. Or Papyrus’s brother… or… the other two .

“I’ll be there in a second!” You yelled and closed the fridge, straightening your shirt before opening the door.

Oh shit.

Before you stood a skeleton around your height. The feature that stood out the most was his shining golden tooth. He wore a red turtleneck and a fluffy jacket. Around his neck was a collar-like necklace (choker?), or maybe it was an actual collar. He wore a grin on his face and a somewhat smug expression.

You stood there in silence, slightly intimidated by this skeleton. He wasn’t like the other three. He was looking you over with a… creepy smile. After he finished observing you he whistled, leaving you officially creeped out. You held the door tightly, prepared to close it at any moment.

“Hey hot stuff.” His grin somehow spread wider.

“Um…”

“Damn.” he looked you over once again, and you stiffened. “For a human I’d say you’re about an eight, maybe a nine.” Okay. Nope. You smiled awkwardly and closed the door a bit too forcefully.

Another knock.

And another knock. You held your hand tightly on the door knob.

Yet another knock.

Fine.

You opened the door, glaring this time. “Okay, what do you want?” You tone was showing obvious annoyance already.

“Whoa, relax there, cutie.” He held up his hands. “Just wanted to stop by and say hello to my new neighbor, that’s all.” his tone and stature suggested otherwise but you gave him a chance.

“Hello then.” You held your breath. You weren’t too keen on the first words out of this skeleton's mouth being his ‘rating’ of you.

“Nice to meet ya.” He held out his hand and you Involuntarily took it, giving his hand a firm shake. “The name’s Red.” Red? So that’s what he was called in this story? 

You told him your name in response and he smiled.“Sounds very… fitting.” his eyes were beginning to wander and you closed the door a little. What did he mean by fitting? Whatever he meant, it still creeped you out.

“Thanks?” You tried your hardest to remain polite despite his past comments.

“Anytime sweetheart .” he winked and leaned against your doorframe, moving closer to you. You were unsure if you liked how this conversation was going.

“Um… do you need anything else or can I help you with something?” You took a small step back subconsciously.

“Oh you don’t even know the half of it, sweetheart.” he advanced yet further and you took a few steps back instinctively. DAMMIT! You let go of the door whilst moving away from him. Red took this opportunity to invite himself in. Welp, that seemed to answer your question: Monsters didn’t need an invitation to enter one’s home. Your past misconceptions aside, you had a bit more on your mind at the moment.

“Uh…” You couldn’t help but feel intimidated by him, despite your knowing that this was simply a story. “Please get out of my house.” You said quickly after he had made it about almost three feet inside.

Red froze, the corner or his mouth twitched.

“Hehe sweetie, let me know if you want to have a great t-”

“RED!” A male voice had yelled from the hallway, sounding irritated. Red stopped abruptly, his expression transitioning from smug to terrified. “RED!” volume rising. Red flinched.

You raised your brow. Deep down inside you knew what was going on here.

Red scanned your apartment frantically, as if searching for a place to run.

“Red!” the voice was closer. You looked up and saw a tall and jagged skeleton. His face was intimidating enough for even the bravest to tremble in fear. He wore a black top that revealed a bit of his sternum and a black leather jacket. His left eye socket was cracked and his teeth were sharp and pointed.

Though this was not your first time seeing this skeleton, you couldn’t help but hold your breath and take a defensive stance. The tall skeleton looked from Red to you, his eye lights disappearing and his skeletal hands now balled into tight fists.

You felt your lower lip begin to tremble. You were a brave person but… This skeleton looked truly malicious, almost as if the devil himself had been reincarnated. You cast away these thoughts and reminded yourself not to judge one by their appearance. Perhaps this skeleton was friendly?

“I ordered you not to speak to this… human scum.” The tall skeleton spat. He didn’t raise his volume but his tone made up for this, venom seeping from each word. “Yet, you disobeyed me.” what was most unnerving was how he had not once broken eye contact with you.

Red noticeably gulped… somehow. He turned slowly, wearing a fake smile on his face.

“H… hey boss.”

“Don’t ‘hey boss’ me.” he snapped and marched up to Red, grabbing him by the collar and lifting him a couple inches off the ground. He violently dragged Red out of your apartment, flashing you a deadly glare before he stormed out.

You finally breathed for what seemed like the first time in ages. That was… interesting. You rushed over to your door, noticing that the taller skeleton had stepped into the apartment… directly beside yours. Fuck.

You closed your door and stood, you were rendered utterly shocked and straight up confused by the events that had taken place over the past couple paragraphs. It was almost as if the author had rushed into introducing each character. Was that bad development?

You let out a deep sigh and leaned against your door. Originally you were looking forward to this but now… you weren’t too sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! sorry about the profanity there. Goodness gracious me, I don't know what care over me! I never fucking curse.  
> Anyway, I took about five days to release write this chapter and it's shitty so I'm sorry about that.  
> Edit--- I want to thank Godith who helped to point out several errors in this chapter, here's their [Tumblr](https://alphagodith.tumblr.com) if you would like to check them out


	4. Morning, Sunshine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so! I've spent almost two weeks on this chapter! TWO DAMN WEEKS! I am am so sorry this took so long!  
> So, without further ado...  
> here's the chapter.

You awoke to your neighbors blasting heavy metal, the thin walls of your apartment silencing none of the blaring music. You opened your eyes and checked the clock. It was three AM.

“Fuck.” You uttered, sitting up and glaring at your wall. You groaned and blindly reached for a pillow, chucking it across the room. It fell to the ground with a unsatisfactory thump.

You groaned once again, this time much louder, and rolled out of bed. Who the hell listens to heavy metal at three in the FUCKING MORNING?! This was too early.

You pulled yourself off of the floor and stumbled back into bed- nope. You missed.You fell face first onto the floor. This had to have made it onto your list of ‘top ten best ways to start the morning’. Wake up to your neighbor being a dick at three am, fall out of bed, smash your face against the floor. You weren’t even fully awake and this day already sucked.

“Oh my fucking god! SHUT THE HELL UP!” You yelled, pressing your hands against your ears. You were too tired to give even a second thought about your relentless cussing. The music was still playing. “SHUT UP!” You growled and stood, wandering out of your room and into wonderful silence. Somehow the music could only be heard in your room.

What luck.

You wouldn’t consider yourself a morning person and you certainly didn’t want to make it a habit of waking up at this ungodly hour. You were filled with such rage that you could kick a dying puppy and feel absolutely no remorse. Okay, the sudden lack of sleep was getting to you.

You realized that you were standing in the hall, staring at your feet for about five minutes now. Maybe it had been longer. You slumped onto your couch, groaning and burying your face into the pillows.  

“I see you’re up early.” I said and you sat up quickly. You took a defensive stance, scanning the room rapidly.

“Oh. it’s just you.” You sighed and relaxed.

“You sound a little  _ edgy _ .” I smiled to myself and took a seat beside you.

“Did you just…” You turned to me.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I grinned.

“Why… why did you write them in as my neighbors. I knew you were going to put them in the story but you could’ve had Orange and Blue or Sans and Papyrus as my direct neighbors.” You massaged the bridge of your nose.

“What do you mean?” You frowned and stared at me for a couple seconds.

“Right… stay in character.” You sighed.

“Yep.”

“Wait… how come you can… talk to me, I mean, technically you’re breaking character too.”

“Prologue, paragraph seventy.”

“What?”

“Prologue, paragraph seventy; I’m not a character. I never will be because I’m the author.” I smiled and pat your head, “I live by different rules than you.”

“Right…” You yawned and rested your head against the armrest of the loveseat. “Doesn’t seem too fair though.”

“Life isn’t fair.” I stood and pulled a teacup and kettle out of the air. “Speaking of which, you’ve got a job. You’re not going to have too much time to unpack very often this week so I suggest you try to get as much done today as possible.” I poured you some ginger tea.

“But it’s three o'clock…” You mumbled, “And I’ve got all day to take care of unpacking…”

“You should get an early start to the day though! Besides, you also have groceries, tidying up, not to mention, you have to look in to transportation for tomorrow-”

“Whoa… slow down there… I’ll think about that later.” You began to doze off. I shook your shoulder lightly and handed you the tea cup.

“I’m gonna get going here soon, so good luck.” I paused, “If you really need it I’ll send some help.” I took a step back and straightened my collar, about to disappear.

“Wait…” you said, remembering something.

“Hm?”

“You said… a couple chapters ago, you wouldn’t be here for a while.”

“Yeah… well, turns out I was wrong.” I shrugged, “After this though, it might be a while. I’ve got other shit I need to take care of.”

“Like what?” you asked, taking a sip of your searing hot tea. You flinched slightly after burning the roof of your mouth.

“I… don’t think you want to know…” My voice flattened, piquing your curiosity.

“I do!”

“No, you don’t. It’s better for some things to remain secret… for now.” I frowned and snapped my fingers, disappearing. You stared at where I once stood, perplexed by what I had said. You were too tired to fully comprehend the situation.

You yawned and lazily walked over to an unopened box, resting your cheek against the cardboard…. And fell asleep.

You stared at the container of spaghetti that now seemed too large. You had tasted some for lunch yesterday… let’s just say it didn’t sit too well. You doubted your neighbors were trying to kill you but damn… You sighed and closed the fridge. The night before last when you had gone into town for dinner, you did buy a couple groceries, but only the necessities. Necessities, meaning you got cereal, milk, and apples. Basically only enough to survive off of for about five days maybe? That was if all you ate was cereal and apples, which you knew wasn’t the healthiest.

You puffed up your cheeks and let out a breath, pulling an uncleaned bowl from the nearest cardboard box.

You glanced to the cookies sitting on the counter. You had several of them yesterday. Aside from half of them being burnt, they weren’t too bad. They were simply your average chocolate chip cookies. The dessert tacos, however, you weren’t too sure about. You didn’t want to offend Blueberry, but you also weren’t entirely certain that your stomach was prepared for such a large amount of sugar.

You made a mental note to prepare yourself and try them later.

You grabbed the cereal box, and examined the front. Temmie Flakes. You had heard of the brand, apparently it had gone somewhat mainstream because there were shelves upon shelves filled with this cereal. It was pretty cheap, and had been on sale when you bought it.

You sighed, you weren’t expecting the taste to be anything legendary but hoped and prayed that it would be better than the spaghetti.

It wasn’t. Well, it was, but… it was almost tasteless. That and there were so many colors. So many. By the looks of it, skittles had some competition. You weren’t sure you could taste the rainbow, though. 

And so your day began- well, sorta. Your day had technically began when you were woken by a certain neighbor, but- you know what? Nevermind. This part of the chapter is way too long, let’s just move to the next scene. You were pissed off at your neighbors, let’s just leave it at that.

You finished reading the previous paragraph an began reading the next one, confused, yet slightly intrigued. Wait-what? Okay okay, this is getting a little out of hand, let’s just continue and forget this ever happened, kay? OKAY!

You finished your breakfast which was filling, but however left much to be desired. You yawned and already knew that you weren’t going to be an energetic little spark like yesterday. You didn’t know- wait, perhaps because of the lack of sleep? You sighed at the passive aggressive remark and began your morning routine.

The everyday ritual was normally an easy task but you found it was rather difficult to shower when falling asleep every other minute. Actually, that probably wasn’t too safe. What if you slipped and fell? Despite the risk, you left the shower with all of your limbs in tack.

You had begun to realize that the lack of sleep turned you into an irritable, passive aggressive, and dramatic human being. Wow. Thanks, neighbors.

You huffed and began unpacking, hoping that distracting yourself might wake you up. What you would give for caffeine right about now. Though you liked ginger tea, it didn’t compare to a cup of coffee. Two shots of espresso and you’d be ready to go.

You found yourself once again zoning out. You snapped back to reality and returned to unpacking the box of old CD’s and a… gaming system? You smiled to yourself and examined the system. It was an old N64. sweet. You dug around and found several game cartridges, most of which were a little roughed up but other than that, they looked fine.

You set aside the gaming system, games and a couple of controllers you had found. In the same box there were a few shitty chick flicks, as well as some sci fi and horror movies. You felt a similar nostalgic feeling as you read the titles. The character in this story, the one you portrayed as, seemed to have enjoyed these movies. You couldn't help but feel rather fondly of them despite you not seeing about half of these movies yourself. 

You felt rather sluggish.

Somehow three hours had passed in what only felt like minutes.

“Maybe because, I don't know, you were too lazy to write more than a few sentences to describe this scene?!” You yelled to no one in particular. Gosh, take a chill pill, sunshine. You gritted your teeth, “Excuse me for waking up at three am due to what  _ you _ wrote.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! No need to take this out on me… look, I’m really sorry.” I spoke up.

“No you’re not.”

“Touché- BUT, because I care, I’ll send in a bit of help to progress the story.” You sighed and massaged the bridge of your nose.

“Fine… sorry I’m just a little cranky right now.”

“Yeah, no shit. Maybe you should tone that attitude down a little bit, missy.”

“Okay, okay.”

“Alright, so there’s someone at your door, they’ll help you out with unpacking… though… honestly, most of these are empty.” I replied, my voice growing faint. “After this, I’m serious, I’ll leave you alone for a while. From now on, even if you call out to me, I won’t answer because your story is still only beginning and with me here, I’m only holding it up.” and I was gone.

Like I said, there was a knock at your door. You tapped your cheek and shook your head in attempts to wake yourself up before answering.

“HELLO MISS HUMAN!” Blueberry’s familiar voice filled your ears and you almost immediately felt a smile begin to tug the corners of your mouth. The star-eyed skeleton stood before you, a much taller skeleton by the name of Papyrus by his side.

“HUMAN, BLUE AND I WISH TO ASSIST YOU!” Papyrus spoke up, as quiet as ever. Despite your bitter mood, you couldn’t help but feel flattered.

“Assist me in what?”

“WELL, I HAD A FEELING THAT IT WOULD BE FRIENDLY TO HELP OUR NEWEST NEIGHBOR WITH THE DAUNTING TASK OF MOVING IN!” Blueberry puffed up his chest and posed with his hands on his hips.

“I HAD THE SAME FEELING!” Papyrus spoke up. “I ASKED MY LAZY BROTHER TO HELP, BUT AS PER USUAL HE WAS MAKING STRANGE SOUNDS WITH HIS EYES CLOSED.” You giggled to yourself, you were pretty sure that meant he was sleeping. Papyrus and Blueberry only gave you confused looks.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” You smiled, “Thank you so much, I would really appreciate any help I can get!”

“SO YOU ACCEPT OUR OFFER?” Blueberry’s eyes sparkled, this skeleton was the cutest monster in world.

“Yes, of course!” You smiled sweetly and let them in. most monsters were very kind, you weren’t too sure of your direct neighbors but aside from them, almost every monster you had met was extremely polite and kind. In fact, you were more likely to trust monsters than humans. So, usually you wouldn’t have an issue with letting monsters into your house… except for Red. You didn’t like to judge someone based on your first impression of them, but you knew he was weird.

You noticed that you were once again spacing out and brought your attention to the two skeletons that had wandered into your living room.

“Whoa.” Blueberry whispered, staring at the pyramid of empty boxes.

“Those are all empty.” you assured him and he looked relieved. “There are only a few left.” You gestured to six boxes against the left wall.

“Oh.” Blueberry’s face fell.

“But, Your help is very much appreciated!” You tried to sound energetic and smiled.

“OKAY! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE FOR US TO HELP, MISS HUMAN?” You had almost forgotten how loud Papyrus was.

“Uh…” You looked around and grabbed a pair of scissors from a side table beside the loveseat and opened a box labeled books. “There’s an unassembled bookshelf over there,” You pointed to the corner, “One of you could unpack these while the other could put together the shelf.”

“OKAY!” Blueberry rushed over to the pile of wood and screws and such. The two seemed rather enthusiastic to help, as they both immediately began their assigned jobs. You couldn’t help but thank the two of them once again, telling them they were very sweet for doing so.

To your response, Papyrus said, “NO NEED TO THANK US, THIS IS WHAT FRIENDS DO, IS IT NOT?”

“I suppose so, yes. I’m not sure that most humans are kind enough to help someone move in the day after meeting them, let alone give them housewarming gifts, I’m flattered!” You smiled and both Blueberry and Papyrus’ face lit up. These two were overwhelmingly kind, not to mention how their innocence gave them an adorable charm.

You opened a box of extra blankets and sheets. You pushed it along the carpet floor to the small linen closet in the hall.

Į̸͢͝'̷͘̕͜͠m̶̧͝ ̨҉͟s̶͡͞҉͜o̶͟r̛͘҉̶̸r҉y ̸̢͏̵͞b̴͜u̸͘͟t̸̶̡̧͘ ̸̢͝I̕҉̨'̨̨͞v͘҉̵e̷̴̢ ̶̢͜m̸̛a̶̕͟͝d͘͠e̷͘ ̶҉̷m̷̢͠͡y̶̛҉͟ ̵̛̕͝d̨̧͏e̕҉̛c̡͜͞i̛̕͘s̕͢i̴͜ǫ̴̷n̸̢͜͢.̴͢

What was that? You froze and looked behind you. It felt as if someone… or something was right behind you. You felt the blood drain from your face. You could’ve sworn-

“MISS HUMAN!” Blueberry yelled to you, “I HAVE FINISHED BUILDING THE BOOKCASE! IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HELP WITH?” You saw the small but lively skeleton waving frantically to you at the end of the hall, he appeared to be rather proud of himself.

“Wow, that was quick!” you had decided that you were imagining what you had heard a couple seconds ago- or rather, you had tried your hardest to convince yourself.

You couldn’t help but look behind yourself a couple times while walking to Blueberry.

“IT WAS A SIMPLE TASK FOR ONE AS MAGNIFICENT AS I!” he posed and you couldn’t help but smile. Was it strange to find the skeleton cute? You didn’t care. Blueberry was absolutely adorable.

“I’m sure!” You smiled and couldn’t help but encourage him, after all, he and Papyrus were volunteering to help out of the kindness of their hearts. (even though you only had what? About four boxes left.) You couldn’t shake off your uneasiness from what you had just experienced. Or thought you had experienced.

Blueberry’s eyelights sparkled, morphing into stars. He smiled wider, “OF COURSE!” You noticed he was standing on his tiptoes as if to seem taller.

You smiled and stifled a laugh, “Let me see what else you can help with.” you gestured for Blueberry to follow. Papyrus was almost finished with unpacking the books, to your surprise, he was actually working incredibly fast. Maybe he was using magic? That or he was just enthusiastic. God, these skeletons were adorable.

Let us now take a moment to appreciate how much of a bitch writer’s block truly is. Ah yes, my dear friends, most of us have been there, and if you haven’t… I am certain your time will come, little padawan. I have been working for two weeks straight on this goddamn chapter, not only because of writer’s block, but because of my famous trait known as procrastination. Now, if I continue this specific scene and dialogue, you will begin to lose interest so I’ll make this as quick as possible, kay?

Okay.

Wow, you looked up to the strange paragraph. Welp, you’d never seen that before. Or… maybe you have… I don’t really know your life- you know what? Nevermind…

Was this the author’s excuse for being lazy? It sure sounded like it.

You shook it off and led Blueberry to the boxes, the two of you hard at work. Papyrus soon joined the both of you, with the same remarkable enthusiasm. You found this trait rather refreshing, as you did seem to lack it at the moment.

Every once in a while you would offer to pour them a glass of water or if they would enjoy any tea (which you had earlier found a large assortment of earlier, you didn’t recall ever buying any though...) Each time, their response was a simple ‘no’ and ‘thank you-’ er ‘THANK YOU FOR THE OFFER!’

After awhile it almost felt somewhat natural to make conversation with Blueberry and Papyrus, well, they did most of the talking, but still! It felt nice. Probably because you knew them; of course it was natural.

With their help, though, unpacking only took a little over an hour, to your surprise. It was even-

“JUST IN TIME FOR LUNCH!” Blueberry said as he unpacked the last item… a throw pillow? Honestly, you were unsure where you had gotten all of this. You didn’t recognize about half of what the three of you had unpacked.

“Yeah! Thank you guys so much!” you said for what was probably the fiftieth time now.

“WE ARE HAPPY TO HELP!” Papyrus smiled as widely as possible.

“ARE WE FRIENDS NOW?” Blueberry asked, jumping up and down.

“Huh?” you were taken off guard and looked into Blueberry’s shining eyes. “Yeah, of course!” what? You had surprised yourself by your own words. I mean, sure you were going to say yes, but you agreed so suddenly.

“REALLY?” Papyrus seemed that he was on the verge of squealing out of pure joy. You couldn’t help but giggle.

“Yeah!” You ginned almost as widely as the two skeletons, “is that what this was all about? To become friends with me? If it was you could’ve just asked and I would’ve said yes.”

“IT WASN’T BECAUSE OF THAT, I HAD A STRANGE FEELING THAT I SHOULD HELP YOU UNPACK SO I WENT TO PAPYRUS AND ASKED IF HE WOULD LIKE TO HELP! SO WE WALKED OVER TO YOUR PLACE AFTER TRYING TO WAKE UP OUR BROTHERS AND TRYING TO CONVINCE EDGE TO JOIN US…” Blueberry continued on for a while, Papyrus offering small details to improve the story, exaggerating on how it was mostly his idea .

God, these two were precious; too kind and innocent for this world.

The two of them quickly switched from topic to topic. You found yourself struggling to keep track of which story they were talking about.

“HUMAN, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPEND YOUR LUNCH WITH US?” Papyrus asked you after a while and you looked up from your tea.

“Yeah, sure.” You said almost absentmindedly. Wait. what?

“REALLY?” Blueberry jumped up.

“Uuuuuuuuh.” wait… did this mean spaghetti or tacos? “Yes.” dammit.

“WONDERFUL!” Papyrus grabbed your hand and you quickly set your tea cup on the bar beside you as he took your other hand. “WE WILL OF COURSE EAT AT MY PLACE! I WILL PREPARE A NEW TYPE OR SPAGHETTI!”

“WHAT?! NO! I’M SURE THAT THE HUMAN WILL PREFER MY HOMEMADE TACOS!” Blueberry argued.

Wonderful indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCKING YES! I am so glad I got this chapter done! once again I apologize (for the third time) that this took me so damn long. I made this chapter a bit longer because of that. Like I've said in previous chapters, I'm just trying to get this story started. 
> 
> Edit--- okay, so I want to thank GODITH for helping with any errors they found! I really appreciate it, mate! Here's a link to their [TUMBLR!](https://alphagodith.tumblr.com)


	5. Cha- nope, A/N

Hey guys, it's me! I know, I know  _"what? that asshole again..._ _"_ is probably what you're thinking. 

I'm not gonna say that you're wrong for thinking that. I really am being an asshole for posting this instead of a somewhat anticipated chapter. If you weren't looking forward to it... that's great too, I still love you. 

Why am I posting an Author's note right now instead of an actually chapter you ask? 

I don't know. 

This was kind of a spur of the moment sort of thing. 

I'm not joking, this was my thought process "hmm... I feel like posting something..." -> "okay, but I haven't finished the next chapter"----> "fuck it. I'm writing an Author's note" and here we are! 

I'm sorta feelin' like we're having a one sided conversation here, y'know? SO, I'll talk about a few random things that have been on my mind because why the heck not? (also, none of this is related to the story other than a couple updates I'm gonna post here at the end... so you can skip over it if you don't want to hear my stupid rants) <\- scratch that, I'm probably going to be asking a couple questions that would  _contribute_ to the story but still wont be correlated with the plot. 

 

Let's start this little rant off with a joke... okay, so what do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotopuss 

Bad jokes aside, I'll begin. 

\-- Who's older? Blueberry or Orange? I've been wondering about this for a while and curious about who exactly  _is_ older, I mean I might have just missed something... now I feel embarrassed,  _should_ I know this? I personally feel that Orange is older but I'm starting to question that and- you know what? I'll just stop and move on to the next one.

\-- What's your guys' favorite tea/coffee? This is a little off topic. 

\--uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

ummmmm shit. I don't have any other questions, I'll probably think of them later and be like "I'm such an idiot! How could I have forgotten that?!" 

Uh, so I'm gonna release the next chapter soon. As a quick reminder if you skip over the notes I post I have a [tumblr](https://purplelemning.tumblr.com) where I post updates (or try to) 

Also, I'm probably going to post this on my [Quotev](https://www.quotev.com/Lemning) account, just gonna put this out there though, I really dislike Quotev because it seems like fanfictions are often a bit harder to access there and it just confuses me. It's going to be no different than this account so if you hate Quotev just like me then don't worry about missing anything. Sorry if I'm just being salty. 

 

OH! I've got a couple editors! They are AWESOME! I'll tell you guys who they are when I release chapter 5, one of them is an AMAZING writer, and another is an AMAZING editor. You guys, I'm really looking forward to this, these are great people and I'm honored to be working with them. I'll be linking them in the next chapter and on chapters to come. I am  _super_ hyped to be working with the wonderful people and improving my writing. 

Also! one more thing before I go! I've reached 500 hits! I know compared to other fanfictions this is probably nothing, but it means the  _world_ to me. You guys have no idea how happy this makes me. Thank you all so much

 

I'm not going to apologize for how long this was because you know I'm not sorry! I'm just posting this because I feel like it and there's nothing you can do to make me feel bad for not releasing the next chapter! haha! 

Okay, I’m sorry if that sounded mean… 

You should expect a new chapter soon though! 

 

 

I love you guys and stay tuned. Buckle up and strap in for a whole lot of weird shit because I'm only getting started. 


	6. Lunch With a Couple Skellies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! It's finally out! This chapter, sadly, is not as long as I hoped to make it, but writer's block has been a bitch.  
> Can we all just agree that writers block is hands down, one of the worst positions for a writer to be in?  
> Anyway, if you haven't skipped over this yet... without further ado, here's the chapter.

You were too tired to care. 

The two skeletons dragged you out of your apartment, still arguing over what you would prefer. 

“MISS HUMAN, TELL PAPYRUS YOU LIKE TACOS MORE!” 

“PREPOSTEROUS! HUMANS LOVE MY SPAGHETTI, MUCH MORE THAN YOUR DISH!” 

“Um.” You looked back and forth from Papyrus to Blueberry. “There’s a cafe down the street, we could go there.” you suggested and they both looked to you, confused. 

“I… was thinking that since you two can’t agree, it would be better to settle on a happy medium!” 

“HAPPY MEDIUM… BUT HUMAN, THAT IS NEITHER SPAGHETTI NOR TACOS!” Papyrus said.

“Well, it’s somewhere in between though, something that you two are more likely to agree on.” 

“WHAT ABOUT SPAGHETTI TACOS?” You wished that Blueberry hadn’t made that remark. 

“YES HUMAN, WE CAN COMBINE MY FAMOUS SPAGHETTI AND HIS NORMAL TACOS!” Papyrus smiled at the idea. 

“Buuuuuuuuut that’s not a happy medium.” You frantically tried to come up with some way to get out of this. You weren’t entirely thrilled over the whole ‘mixing different dishes’ thing. Even if the cooks were world class chefs, you still weren’t sure spaghetti tacos would be a good idea. 

“IT SOUNDS LIKE A HAPPY MEDIUM TO ME!” Blueberry said. 

You realized you had dug yourself into a pit, without any chance of escape. Well shit. Now all that was left was to accept your fate and prepare for your end. Not to be rude but you knew that you were going to have a bad time… ha…. See what I did there? Nevermind! This wasn’t the time! 

“YES, I AGREE! THOUGH A TRIP TO A CAFE DOES SOUND QUITE EXCITING, THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A PLATE OF MY FAMOUS SPAGHETTI!” 

“OR MY TACOS!”

“YES!” 

The two of them had agreed on cooking at Blueberry’s apartment, after a heated debate on whose house would be best fitted for both of their culinary needs. 

While Blueberry and Papyrus were busy in the kitchen creating their-

“GREAT-”

“AND MAGNIFICENT” 

“-DISH!” 

-You made conversation with Orange. The few words the two of you had exchanged mostly consisted of terrible puns, jokes, or small talk. You had certainly felt much more comfortable around Blueberry and Papyrus, because both of them were the sweetest angels, whereas with Orange, you weren’t too certain. He seemed very friendly but he also seemed as if he was putting up a wall between you two. Of course, there was nothing wrong with that, after all, you had just met him… but there was something else, too. 

Despite his friendly behavior, you couldn’t help but feel as if he was judging you. You had found yourself fidgeting with your fingers as if to distract yourself from your new found self consciousness. He didn’t… hate you… did he? No. You were giving this too much thought. 

Blueberry had interrupted your fascinating and pun-filled conversation by saying- or yelling, rather, “LUNCH IS READY!” at these three simple words you felt a pit of dread grow in your stomach. 

You marched over to their dining room table, preparing your body and mind for the task at hand. You seated yourself and fought your primal instincts telling you to run while you could. You had made a decision to eat spaghetti tacos, and it was one you knew you would regret later tonight. 

You nearly jumped when a plate was placed before you and you weren’t sure if you were still in denial or not. You had made it this far at least… but you hadn’t even gotten to the taste test. Nonetheless, you considered this a feat all in itself. You weren’t sure if you could’ve taken any more small talk, and by the looks of it, neither could Orange. 

You let your eyes fall to the dish presented to you, the two chefs sitting before you, expectantly. You glanced to your right, Orange had already dug in and was eating rather quickly… maybe it was good. 

You turned back to your plate. By what you could tell there was pasta (obviously), tomato sauce, ground beef (?), lettuce, cheese, some sparkly substance, beans, was that carrot or sweet potato? There were several other… unidentifiable ingredients, this was all encased in a taco shell. On top of that, you weren’t sure if this was even safe for humans to ingest, as it was glowing. 

“Why’s it glowing?” You asked nervously. 

“THAT’S MAGIC!” Blueberry jumped up from his seat and smiled. You made an ‘O’ with your mouth. You had heard of several monster restaurants that served magical food; it had actually become quite the craze recently amongst humans. You had never tried any before, despite your curiosity. 

Perhaps now wasn’t the time to try the suddenly popular style of food though. 

Orange was almost finished, and Blueberry or Papyrus would probably ask you what’s wrong any time now. Okay just do it. 

You took a bite. 

One single word repeated itself in your mind,  _ ‘why _ .’ 

“SO… HOW IS IT?” Blueberry and Papyrus asked, almost in perfect unison. 

“It’s great.” It wasn’t great. 

“REALLY? YOU LIKE IT?” Blueberry’s eyes sparkled. 

“OF COURSE, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, KNEW YOU WOULD!” Papyrus posed. 

“The sparkles and tomato sauce really add a… uniqueness to the dish.” You complimented, taking another bite. Why did you do that? You caught Orange, out of the corner of your eye, stifling a laugh.

Maybe you were taking this too far, I mean, you could just tell them you didn’t like it. You considered it for a moment but saw Blueberry and Papyrus’ smiling faces. Nope, you couldn’t do it. 

“Ooh! What kind of fruit did you put in here?” Your voice was now filled with forced enthusiasm. 

“GRAPES! I SAW ON HUMAN TELEVISION THAT MIXING FRUIT WITH SAVORY DISHES CAN OFTEN ENHANCE THE FLAVOR!” Blueberry answered quickly, you weren’t sure if this was true or not.  You did know, however, that with each bite you felt your stomach clench and your body physically reject this unknown substance. 

“Wow, that’s amazing! I can tell that you two put a lot of thought into this.” You smiled weakly, directing a few nervous glances toward Orange. How could he have eaten this all so quickly?! 

Was he inhuman?! Wait… 

You realized how stupid that sounded. Of course he wasn’t human. 

Nevermind that. 

“OF COURSE!” Papyrus said simply, and you dismissed your thoughts, turning back to the two energetic skeletons. 

“Thank you for the meal, it was delicious.” You said politely, pushing your plate away slightly. 

“BUT YOU DIDN’T FINISH IT…” Blueberry’s face fell. Don’t say it. Just tell him that you’re full. I swear, do not fucking say it. 

“But of course, how couldn’t I finish such a culinary masterpiece?” You took a bite as if to show that you spoke the truth. Well you said it, why aren’t you listening to me?! You and I both know how much you’re going to regret this. Also  _ technically _ you’re lying to them… 

You felt terrible about lying to them… though technically it was a white lie, so couldn’t it be justified? Still, it left a bitter taste in your mouth. Or was that the taco? 

Okay, okay, I won’t shit on Blueberry and Papyrus’ cooking skills anymore… gosh. It’s probably getting old by now, isn’t it. Shit, shit… redo, redo. Ah, screw it. I’ve spent  _ multiple _ hours making it this far. In between sleeping, eating, working, and watching cat videos on youtube, I’ve put a shitton of work in to this. You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit. You can’t stop me from shitting on Blueberry and Papyrus’ cooking. But I guess you really should just suck it up and finish eating their magnificent creation. 

  
  
  


Your stomach hated you. And you hated your weakness for adorable- no… beyond adorable skeletons. Scratch that… you had a weakness for all skeletons, why else would you be reading this? That wasn’t weird… right? Nah, there were probably other people like you. 

You also hated how hastily written this seemed, but that was for another time. 

You bit the inside of your cheek as if to distract yourself from the groaning of your stomach. Your plate was empty. How did you do it? Nonetheless, finishing such a dish and living to tell the tale filled you with DETERMINATION. Heh. 

You held your head in your hands, “why…” You groaned under your breath. 

“I DON’T THINK THE GRAPES WERE THAT GOOD OF AN IDEA.” Blueberry had only taken one bite before deciding that ‘spaghetti tacos’ weren’t for him. 

“I AGREE!” Papyrus voiced, moving his plate away. 

“WHAT DID YOU THINK, ORANGE?” Blueberry asked his brother. 

“it was great.” Orange replied almost lazily. You hadn’t realized until then that he was currently filling a glass with honey, just honey… what? You found yourself once again asking the question  _ ‘are all monsters this strange?’ _ could be worse… you couldn’t help but glance at the two unfinished tacos before Papyrus and Blueberry. 

“REALLY? WOWIE!” Blueberry’s eyes sparkled, the small compliment seeming to bring a large smile to Blueberry’s face, obviously pleased with himself… despite the near inedibility of his concoction. 

Orange simply nodded, still pouring honey into his glass. You found yourself beginning to stare, wondering how in the world his glass hadn’t begun to overflow yet. After being lost in thought for a little too long, you simply chalked it up to magic. 

“PERHAPS I SHOULD GO GET SANS, I’M SURE HE WOULD ENJOY THIS!” Papyrus said, gesturing to three extra plates (you hadn’t even noticed until then) that sat on the kitchen counter.  Noticing the amount of leftovers set along the counter made your stomach drop, and you could only hope that you weren’t going to be receiving anymore housewarming gifts any time soon.

“PLEASE DO… I’M NOT TOO CERTAIN THAT ORANGE AND I CAN FINISH THEM ALONE!” welp, at least Blueberry and you were on the same wavelength. Or… wait… if Orange and him weren’t going to finish them, that meant more for you and-

“OKAY! I WILL GO NOW, DO NOT FINISH THE TACOS WHILE I AM GONE, HUMAN!” 

“Don’t worry, I can control myself,” You replied, a little unsure on  _ why _ he was talking to you in particular. 

“YES, I AM SURE THAT YOU CAN,” he started once again, as quiet as ever, “I AM SURE THAT MY BROTHER WILL HAPPILY TRY THESE WONDERFUL… er.” he trailed off, uncharacteristically. 

“Creations?” You supplied, and Papyrus perked up.

“YES! CREATIONS!” He nodded and rested his hand on the door knob, “I WILL BE RIGHT BACK!” 

And so the Great Papyrus had made his grand exit by bidding everyone adieu and taking a low bow. This gesture would have made a little more sense if he hadn’t returned only minutes- maybe even seconds later, with a smaller skeleton tucked underneath his left arm.

_You wondered when the author would_ finally _introduce him._ Wow, could you give me a break, no need to shit on me, god.

The tall skeleton marched over to the dining room table, placing his (half asleep) brother in an empty chair. Blueberry took this opportunity to bring Papyrus’ brother a plate from the kitchen. 

Papyrus’ brother, Sans, was shorter in stature and had a similar build to Blueberry.  You pretended for a moment that you didn’t know this skeleton . By the looks of it at least, he seemed to be a pretty chill person- er- skeleton. Dressed in a worn blue jacket and basketball shorts, he seemed as if he was comfortable enough to fall asleep at any second. He wore a permanent smile on his face, and he seemed much more alert when he noticed that a human was sitting at the table. 

You noticed a slight raise in his eyebrow… bonebrow… what? Anyway, he looked mildly confused by your being there. The shorter, and far more relaxed skeleton outstretched his hand as if offering a handshake. 

“the name’s sans,” he introduced himself, nonchalantly.  

“It’s a pleasure.” You replied, introducing yourself and staring at his hand for a good couple of seconds, wondering if this was a trick. He seemed like the kind of guy to prank you with a whoopie cushion or one of those hand buzzers. You couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary and happily took his hand. 

YOU FUCKING KNEW IT! 

You sat silently as you waited for the whoopie cushion to deflate. 

“heh,” Sans smiled, “never gets old.” Sans was right, but it was also extremely cliche by now, and you were surprised that the author had put this in. If she was trying to make this interesting then why would she put in such a cliche and now overused line? This was used in nearly all fanfictions featuring Sans. 

Because this was an exact representation of the fandom.

You couldn’t help but feel a smile tug at the corners of your mouth, as the look of sheer joy on Sans’ face made you grin nearly as wide as him. 

Though we were already five chapters in, you still felt as if it was only just beginning.

* * *

 

You wondered how you got yourself into these strange situations. Was it your inability to say no to such precious skeletons, or was it just your inability to refuse any offer? 

Nonetheless, when Blueberry had suggested to explore the city with friends, you couldn’t help but agree. You also just so happened to absentmindedly agree with Papyrus on inviting a skeleton by the name of Edge, and Red (whom you had become a little too acquainted with yesterday for your liking), to tag along. 

You never thought you’d be window shopping while surrounded by skeletons. It was certainly strange (not that you were complaining), and you couldn’t shake off the countless glares passersby shot at you. 

“what’re we supposed to be lookin’ at?” Red asked, standing beside you and Blueberry. 

You recalled how Red was even brought into this:

_ It was right after you had  _ mistakenly _ agreed upon inviting who you now decided to call the edgy brothers. Had a nice ring to it.  _

_ “WOULD YOU AND EDGE LIKE TO ACCOMPANY US ON OUR EXCURSION-” Blueberry started to ask.  _

_ “shhhhh!” Red said hastily, looking over his shoulder, “boss is in his room making traps… keep it down.” You noticed that whenever Edge, or ‘Boss’ had been mentioned, Red seemed to grow tense and almost somewhat frightened.  _

_ “WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME ALONG?” Blueberry whisper-yelled. Red looked past the star-eyed skeleton, scanning your somewhat large group… and seeing you.  _

_ “yeah, sure.  _ i’d love to. _ ” you could’ve sworn that Red had directed a wink towards you just then. How would that have even been possible?  _

 

“LOOK! IT’S A PAINTING OF A FISH!” Papyrus pointed out.  

“i  _ see that _ … but i don’t understand what the hell we’re doing, standin’ around here, starin’ at paintings of fish and shi-” 

“watch your language, bud.” Orange interrupted him, resting his hand on Red’s shoulder. To say the least, Red looked uncomfortable. 

“fine… god.” he pushed Orange away then mumbled, “don’t get your panties in a bunch…”

Orange glances over at Red, and suddenly smirks, “honestly, i’d say i’m more a thong kinda guy.” well, he just said that. 

You decided it would be best to ignore their banter from this moment on, as it had seemed to have taken a … strange turn. 

“Let’s move on.” You said almost frantically once you heard Red call Orange a ‘fucking weirdo’ followed by a long string of insults that I personally don’t feel comfortable writing. 

You weren’t too certain about what exactly you had gotten yourself into.

“stop giving me sass, mister.” Orange had said at some point, obviously enjoying himself. It was apparent that these two had a rivalry of sorts, whether it was just friendly banter or something a little more extreme, these two seemed to enjoy getting on one another’s nerves. 

Needless to say, Blueberry and Papyrus had been the most helpful. Sans pointed out a couple restaurants along the way, one of which you recognized, a diner that went under the name of “Grillby’s.” Orange and Red seemed like they were having a jolly old time. You were actually enjoying yourself. 

You, Papyrus, and Blueberry seemed to get along rather well, along with Sans and Orange. Red hadn’t made any obvious attempts to uh… make a move on you. The day was going quite well. 

You hadn’t even realized how much you enjoyed the skeletons’ company until they dropped you off at your apartment, leaving you in silence. 

You took this opportunity to look up. Wow. the author managed to write about your excursion in only four paragraphs. Sounds like someone’s getting lazy. Maybe you were getting a little picky. 

Whether this was the product of the author’s laziness of simply your pickiness, it seems that one thing is for certain; this chapter has come to an end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took too long to write, I'm really sorry about that. On that note, I'm gonna give a big thanks to my friend, and beta reader, Niskaru! Niskaru is an amazing writer, and she helped me get through some of parts of this chapter I was getting stuck at. Here's a link to her Ao3: [Niskaru_fanfictions](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Niskaru_Fanfictions/pseuds/Niskaru_Fanfictions)  
> ALSO! Check out GODITH on [TUMBLR!](https://alphagodith.tumblr.com) they helped me out a lot with fixing the errors in this chapter.  
> Both of these people are amazing!  
> Thank you for taking your time to read this! If you didn't... welp, thanks anyway.  
> see ya in the next chapter! (also... sorry about the long ass end notes)  
> (also, if you could leave a comment below that would make my day and the next chapter will probably come out sooner)


	7. Another Damn Author's Note

I am so sorry that I'm posting yet another author's note. I'm promise you I'm about 10x more mad than you guys probably are. 

Normally I would post an update on my tumblr but today is different. why? because I broke my fucking computer- er, my younger brother broke it, rather. Apparently it's a good idea to jump on you big sister's computer while she's eating lunch. Thanks mate, good on ya. 

Sarcasm aside, I'm fucking pissed. I'm not one to complain but I was really looking forward to releasing that next chapter on Saturday. _M_ _aybe_ I'll get it done by then, but I doubt I will. You all should probably expect an update from anywhere to next Saturday to mid next month. All that I'm going to be focusing on are my studies and working enough  _to_ buy a new laptop. Only on occasion I will be writing, but after I purchase my new laptop updates should be somewhat consistent. 

I assure you, no, I am not going to give up on this story because of this... inconvenience. If anything this fills me with more determination to press on. 

I hope you all can understand. I'll try my hardest to release the next chapter as soon as I can, though this is a pretty major setback. Like I said, I hope you all can understand. 

I don't have too much more to say other than thank you for reading this, I know you all are probably annoyed that I'm posting yet another note. I also don't want to go on for too long as it'll probably become repetitive. 

 

ANYWAY! To make this a little more enjoyable I'm just going to give you all a sneak peak into the next chapter!

**Chapter 6--- YOU'VE GOT A JOB! (okay, disclaimer real quick- thats not gonna be the real title)**

 

_ Finding a note and bowl of fruit on your table wasn’t weird at all. All writers left their readers pleasant notes and fruit baskets. That wasn’t anything out of the ordinary at all. Okay, enough with the sarcasm. You had almost forgotten that the author could appear in your house at any moment, pop in and say ‘hi’ then disappear in an instant. That’s not unnerving.  _

_ You let your eyes wander to the note, carefully opening the seal. Upon immediate inspection, you couldn’t tell if this was in another language or the hand writing sucked.  _

_ Okay, time to test your skills. You sat at the table, examining the note from top to bottom, underlining the words you could make sense of and slowly, but surely, decoding the author’s handwriting.  _

_ From what you could tell, there was an address at the bottom of the paper. Above the address was ‘your job,’ specific, I know. The three paragraphs above were absolute nonsense; something about how the author hated a children’s show called poka-man. What? You took your time to read the author’s hateful rant, though you couldn’t find anything worth writing about. As if to make up for the bitter words, the author was nice enough to draw a little smiling skeleton on the bottom right corner. _

<\--  **to be continued**  

 

Okay, I have more I've written (and this is the un-edited version) But I just wanted to put a bit here because I feel bad about writing an author's note. 

Thanks with love,  
-The Author


	8. Bitter Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit... this chapter took a long time to release. I apologize for the VERY long wait. Like I've said before, my computer broke so that's been a minor (major) setback. I'm looking back now and realizing that it's been a whole fucking month... wow. Anyway, I want to give a big thanks to Niskaru for helping me out in writing this, and to Godith who helped with editing! And lastly, I want to thank you all for bearing with me.  
> Now, without further ado, here's the chapter!

Finding a letter and bowl of fruit on your table wasn’t weird at all. All writers left their readers pleasant notes and fruit baskets. That wasn’t anything out of the ordinary at all. Okay, enough with the sarcasm. You had almost forgotten that the author could appear in your house at any moment, pop in and say ‘hi’ then disappear in an instant. That’s not unnerving.

You let your eyes wander to the envelope, carefully opening the seal. Upon immediate inspection, you couldn’t tell if this was in another language or if the handwriting just sucked.

Okay, time to test your skills. You sat at the table, examining the letter from top to bottom, underlining the words you could make sense of and, slowly but surely, decoding the author’s handwriting.

From what you could tell, there was an address at the bottom of the paper. Above the address was ‘your job,’ specific, I know. The three paragraphs above were absolute nonsense; something about how the author hated a children’s show called poka-man. What? You took your time to read the author’s hateful rant, though you couldn’t find anything worth writing about. As if to make up for the bitter words, the author was nice enough to draw a little smiling skeleton on the bottom right corner of the page.

“Cute.” You said to yourself, stuffing the letter into your pocket. You knew you’d be needing that address later. You pulled a ...glowing… pear from the fruit basket.  You could only assume that it was magic, and took a bite. The author wouldn’t give you something dangerous, after all, you were the main character. You couldn’t die.

You felt a tingling sensation rush over your body and you somehow felt stronger than ever. Woah. Was this thanks to magic? You understood now why monster food was such a craze. After the sensation seemed to pass the tips of your fingers glowed a faint green. Amazed, you waved your hand in the air, watching as small bits of magic fell from your fingers. Each piece sparked once it hit the ground, making a barely audible popping noise. You couldn’t help but play around with the magic a bit; drawing small pictures with the green sparks, and running your fingers through your hair, watching the strands begin to shimmer and float.

After several minutes you finally pulled yourself out of your dazed state, fixing your hair and brushing the remaining magic off of your hands. After eating you felt amazingly refreshed- magical food is really wonderful. You snatched an apple for the road and tucked it away inside your jacket pocket before stepping out of your apartment and beginning your journey.

You dug into your back pocket, pulling out the slip of paper listing the address of your apparently newfound job. To your surprise, the note had changed and now read something much different.

‘ _Have fun at your new job, kiddo! Don’t worry, I made some lunch for you and sent it to your work, it’ll arrive accordingly. No need to thank me.’_ somehow this seemed a little patronizing… you could simply stop by a cafe on the way and pick up a sandwich- not that you weren’t slightly glad for the author’s kindness.

You scanned over the address once again, wracking your brain to remember where the street was, and its distance from your apartment. As you stepped out of the complex you began _strategically_ planning your route. Strategically, meaning you had not only found yourself utterly and completely lost, but also confused as ####.

“Where did I…” You began, turning as if to see where exactly you had taken a wrong turn. This wasn’t right. Observing your surroundings, you searched for at least _something_ that looked familiar. A street sign, a landmark, anything.

In spite of your… predicament, you chose to remain optimistic by smiling and uttering the words, “####### hell.” _Optimism_.

Your second option would have been to ask for directions, but the streets were strangely deserted. You third option… was to ask the author, but then you’d sound like a hypocrite due to your past remark. As tempting as it was to simply _ask the author for help_ , you were determined and stubborn. And so you pressed on.

 

You were amazed… but also still confused. This was the correct address… right? It was somewhat intimidating- the massive building you had finally arrived at.

The large structure seemed to be of old medieval or gothic design, based on style of the archways and windows. Though the building itself reflected upon modern design you could very clearly see the castle-like inspiration in its architecture.

You took a couple steps back, checking the address… yep, this was it. It certainly was not what you had expected.

Ebott City Hall… this… was where you had managed to land a job. You were impressed, to say the least…

Moving on! I had already spent much too long writing the past couple pages…  as I’m writing this it’s midnight because for some reason that’s the only time I can write decent #### and hell, I want to get some ####### sleep!

Ignoring my antics, and by now pointless ranting, you stepped towards the sliding glass doors. You had nothing to lose, but couldn’t help but feel somewhat anxious. Admittedly, this was your first day at a new job- a rather important one by the looks of it- and it was natural to feel a little skittish in a situation such as this.

Upon entering you almost immediately took into account the beautiful simplicity of the interior. Though this was only the reception area, you had to admit that it was stunning. You’d never seen such inspiring design before. The tiles on the floor glistened almost magically. Seconds later you realized that these tiles were indeed _magically_ glistening. You watched as small bits of light drifted away from the floor and floated upward to join large orbs of light, each floating independently and all gathered closely to the ceiling. You could’ve easily gotten lost in the magical sight for hours. However, remembering the task at hand, you snapped out of your trance. You let your eyes explore the room as you began meandering towards the front desk.

Behind the front desk sat a female dog monster with a pin-up hairstyle, a large pink bow sitting neatly atop her head, and brightly colored red glasses resting on the bridge of her nose.

She looked up and adjusted her glasses, “Can I help you, ma’am?”

“Ah- yes- I’m here for work… and I wasn’t given any instructions on where exactly to go…” You trailed off. You really weren’t sure about what exactly you should say, not to mention that there had already been four seconds of silence, and the tension was palpable.

“Sorry, what’s your name?” she asked you after an unbearably long amount of time passed. As soon as you introduced yourself her face lit up. “Oh- of course! You’re on the Human and Monster’s relations committee, correct?”

What? You stood there wide-eyed. You weren’t sure what exactly you were expecting but it wasn’t a position like _that_.

“Yes, I believe so.” You heard yourself say almost naturally. This had seemed somewhat normal- until everything turned dark.

 

N҉͏̶̵e҉̧͏v͏̸͜ę̷͟͡r̡͞m̧͝i̢͢͜͞͡n̷͞d͘͠-̷̴̨ ͜͝҉b̡̧y̷҉̧ ̡̕͝͡n̕͟͟͡o͘͢w͜͟͢ ̵̴̧͢͟y̛͟͠o҉̸̶̧u̸̷͟ ̧͘̕͘k̶̡͟n̵͘o̢̧̕͡w̸̵̢ ̶̢I̸͏̕͘'̶̢͜͟͡m̧̢͞ ̢͘͝n͏͢͜͜͠ǫ̸̛̛͝t̵̴͘͜.̡͞ ҉̴Ą̴̴̴͡f͝҉͏҉̧ţ̸͞e̛͝r̢͢͞͡ ̨͟͢a̧̢͝l̨̡l̷̸,҉̸̷͢ ̵̷̧͠͞t̕͝h̢͢i̢͟s̴̵҉̕ ̶̧̧͝w̴͜a҉ş̛̕͠ ̸͝҉͘m̸̶̧͠y̸̵͠͡͡ ̧͜p̴̨͞l͘͏̨̛a̸̛͡n̨͞͡ ͜҉̶f̷̛͢͝r̷̛ǫ̵̕͏m̵̧ ̶̕҉t̴̡͠h̴̢e̶̶͘͢͞ ̨͟͟͟͠B̴̨͡͡E̶͟͜G̵̨̨̕I̛͢͠Ņ̴͢N̢͢͝I͏҉N̴̕͘͜͢G̶̢̨̕ ͏̢͘͢͝

 **What?** The words you read were in the same style as before… this had to have meant something.

 

What did this all mean?

 

I̸̴̷͡'͢͢͡͡v̸͡e̴͏̵̢ ҉͜͟a̧͞l͠͏w͏̡̧a̶̡̧y̵̶s̨͝҉̵̸ ̵͡͝͠b͟͟e̶͟e̸҉̴͡n͠ ͝҉o̸͜͠͠͡n̡̢̨͢͜ ̡̕͘y͜ơ̷̴͝u͡r̨ ̛̕s̷̨͘͡i̴̡d̷͢͏e̵̵ ̴̧͟͠ţ̴̢h̵͟o̸͠҉̢͝u̶͢g҉̷̨͠҉ḩ̕͟͟͞,̨̕ _͏̡m̵̧̛͜͜a҉̨t̴͜͢͡ę̸͟͟͢_.

Before you could process what was going on the world faded back in to existence.

What the ####? What-what the hell just happened? You felt a chill run up your spine as you considered what had just occurred. Okay- once was a happenstance, twice was a coincidence and thrice was a pattern… that’s how it went, right? So this was only a coincidence. You told yourself that as if to comprehend what was going on here.

After consideration you realized there was no possible way this was a mere coincidence. It was too specific to simply be shrugged off as such. This made absolutely no sense.

Was it a glitch or mistake? The author had two people proofreading this- how could it have been missed? It didn’t sound… _normal_ … either. You wracked your brain for _anything_ it could be. Perhaps a character from an alternate universe? Maybe the infamous ‘man who speaks in hands?’ What- or who could it have been?

“May I see your identification?” her voice sounded distant and your vision still foggy.

“Yes, I have it right here.” You said- it had felt almost as if you weren’t in control. You weren’t. You pulled your wallet from your back pocket and handed her your ID… _it was blank_.

 _WHAT WAS GOING ON?!_ You couldn’t control yourself. _-what?_ This wasn’t really you. _What did this all mean?_ Why is this confusing to you? Doesn’t this all make sense? It’s simple, really. _You’re not Y/N_.

  
  


_Now… Let us try this again, shall we?_   : )

  
  


You awoke to the pleasant scent of breakfast. You groaned and rubbed your head. Yesterday had been busy. You weren’t expecting to have such a prestigious job, not to mention the immense stress. That was only your first day and you were already burnt out… you hadn’t even worked on anything politically. You worked in a pretty fair-sized team of people, all lead by a child.

That made sense.

The child didn’t necessarily seem to really do anything though… it seemed that they were only a figurehead as opposed to a boss. After further conversation with this child you learned that they were not only an ambassador for peace, but the same child that had broken the barrier to the underground. The child had a great level of empathy and was rather humble about their actions as well. You had found a great admiration not only in their actions but how they viewed humans and monsters. The child and your coworkers were some of the kindest people you’d met… aside from the author, of course.

You found yourself beginning to wander into your kitchen, on instinct.

“Good morning, kiddo.” a familiar voice greeted you.

“Oh- morning.” You replied and sat on one of the bar stools. “Didn’t expect to see you here, I thought you had ‘other #### you needed to take care of.’”

“Something came up.” I (the author) then replied and slid a fried egg onto an empty plate.

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“What happened back there-”

“It’s better to leave some things forgotten, especially if you weren’t supposed to come across them in the first place.” After I said this you fell silent. _It’s better to leave some things forgotten?_

The gears in your mind turned as you wracked your brain for what this all meant. The author knew about what was going on- I wrote it… and now I was saying you weren’t supposed to have witnessed it in the first place? What? To say this all was strange would have been an understatement-

“Hey… listen, you know I’m the one writing your thoughts, right?” I spoke up after plating a grilled mushrooms and tomatoes. ####… that’s right, she could. “Anyway, all of this is beside the point- I mean look at this!” I gestured to the dish I was beginning to put together- by the looks of it, it was a full breakfast. There were fried eggs, toast, tomatoes and mushrooms, ham, baked beans, and even puddings.

Something that you had noticed, was how often the author wrote about food.

“You’ve gotta have your priorities straight, ya know?” I placed the dish before you and began preparing one for myself.

“Priorities being…”

“Focusing on my insane cooking skills as opposed to actually progressing the plot.” I smiled and sat beside you.

“God… you, Blue, and Papyrus are going to be the end of me.” You chuckled softly.

I laughed lightheartedly and asked, “how’d it turn out?”

“Oh- it’s amazing!” You replied, though you weren't too sure about the puddings.

“I’m glad! Anyway, how have you been doing?”

“Pretty well, I met my neighbors and we explored the city a couple days ago… wait… you’re the author, you _wrote_ all of that.”

“You’re catching on.”

“Why’d you ask me if you already know?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know, I just wanted to start conversation.”

“Oh, okay then.”

“Anyway… by now I’m just holding up the story!” I yawned out. “Besides, there’s someone at your door.” three loud knocks followed after I finished.

You glanced to me nervously, “Aren’t you going to go?”

“Aw… my feelings!” I clutched my heart, “Don’t worry about it… he can’t see me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, now I’d hurry up and answer. I’ve got a feeling he’s gonna get impatient here soon.” after taking a bit of toast you rushed over to the door and turned the knob only to be met by…

“LEAVE.” The tall and jagged skeleton said simply.

You responded immediately with a firm, “ _excuse me_?”

“I REFUSE TO HAVE A PITIFULLY WEAK HUMAN AS MY NEIGHBOR!” He definitely knew how to project himself. Compared to him, Blue and Papyrus were quiet.

You had to take a deep breath before replying, “well… it’s too bad, that’s not your choice.”

He paused for a second before responding rather harshly, “I ALWAYS KNEW HUMANS WERE AS INSOLENT AS THEY APPEARED!”

“Really?” You were already trying _very_ hard to keep your cool.

“YES, THAT IS WHY I _ORDER_ YOU TO LEAVE!”

“Why?” You figured since he labeled you as an insolent human, you might as well act like it.

Once again he paused, “THERE IS NO NEED FOR ME TO ANSWER THAT, AS IT IS QUITE APPARENT!”

“I didn’t do anything wrong though… would you like to come in? We could settle this over a nice cup of tea.”

“THERE’S NOTHING _TO_ SETTLE!” he growled out. Under normal circumstances this situation would have been somewhat intimidating, but he seemed to be all bark and no bite… at least for now. “IT’S SIMPLE, PACK YOUR THINGS AND _LEAVE_!”

“Come in and have a seat, make yourself at home.” You stepped away and towards your kitchen.

Was this a stupid thing to do? Probably. Would it help to resolve this situation? Who knows, but you had a feeling that it would help to ##### the situation calmly.

“Are you a tea or coffee kind of guy?” you called out, searching in your cupboards and finding that there was not only ginger tea, but an assortment of other teas and a tin of instant coffee.

There was no answer to your question, but out of the corner of your eye, you did see a certain skeleton letting himself in and sitting at your table. Coffee it is.

“So, you’re Edge, correct? The others spoke of you.” You attempted to make conversation while preparing two cups.

“I SEE THAT THERE IS NO NEED FOR AN INTRODUCTION THEN, HUMAN.”

You couldn’t help but say, “oh my god, you know my name too!”

“SILENCE YOURSELF! YOU SHOULD BE HONORED THAT I AM ADDRESSING YOU AS SUCH!”

 _Honored?_ You stormed out of the kitchen. “Oh, I apologize for wanting to be treated as an _actual human being_. I’m trying to be hospitable while you’re acting like an ungrateful little prick. Name one thing that I did for you to act like this. ONE THING!”

* * *

  


After you had snapped you noticed that Edge seemed either humbled or now held some sort of respect for you. Eventually he had apologized… well, for the most part, and after sorting out the situation, the two of you had exchanged friendly conversation.

“So, how’s the coffee?” You asked.

Edge took a sip, “it’s okay.”

“Do you want any sugar or cream?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Well, thanks for stopping by,” You said between sips, “I should probably go to work… and get dressed.” You hadn’t noticed until then that you were still in your snowflake pajamas.

 

“I’ll see you around.” You said as Edge left. You took a sip of your coffee and shuddered, this stuff was still bitter no matter how much sugar you added… and somehow Edge’s mug was empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Now, this chapter was fairly long (though I was hoping for something much longer)  
> Thank you all so much and I hoped you enjoyed that chapter. All the positive feedback I've been receiving recently has absolutely warmed my hear, and I really look forward to writing this with you guys!  
> once again A BIG THANKS to Niskaru and Godith, these two people are AMAZING and really do deserve the credit!  
> Also, please leave a comment, that would make my day (and also give me the will to write more). Positive feedback, negative feedback, anything! 
> 
> And with that being said, I hope you all have a nice week. thank you. <3


	9. I think I'm funny, don't you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again! I was going to post this chapter yesterday, but Ao3 was having problems, so today it is! I just want to say thanks for reading this far (and holy shit, I reached 1000 hits! oh my god, that's a lot) and thanks to everyone who's left positive feedback ^^  
> Now, without further ado, here's the chapter:

Okay, so I’ve been getting a little tired my format and feel like I need to switch things up. So I looked at what I seemed to like, and that was jumping into this quickly and avoiding as much filler as possible. So, I’ll just skip right to the end and call this a chapter. Trust me, you guys will love this new style! 

_ “Thanks for having me over, tonight was great!” You thanked- _

No… that won’t do. Perhaps I should start where I left off in the last chapter? No… that’d be boring and somewhat repetitive after a while… 

How about this?

This was quite the predicament you found yourself in. If you moved to grab your keys you would drop your groceries, but if you didn’t move… you couldn’t get inside your apartment. 

How had you gotten here? Well, to put things simply, you (and your wallet) were tired of going out to eat. Your reluctance to go shopping all week left you here… with three large grocery bags in your arms, and your keys in your back pocket. 

You tried to crouch down and set the bags on the ground but the carton of eggs at the top was only just barely balancing. You had a feeling that this strategy would result in not only a mess but yet another trip to the grocery store. 

You groaned and stared at the door. Your options were limited, and best choice would have been to risk it. But what if you dropped the eggs?! 

“hey, are you okay?” a voice from behind you said and you almost dropped the groceries. You turned to your right and noticed that Orange had somehow snuck up on you. 

“Where did you come from?” were the first words to escape your lips. 

Orange gestured to his apartment door across the hall, “i just walked over. you were just standin’ there for a while and it was gettin’ a little weird and mildy concerning.”

“Oh- sorry about that.” 

“‘s fine.” he replied and you both fell silent for an unreasonably long amount of time. “so… did you lose your keys or something?” 

“No, I’ve just got my hands full at the moment.” You turned to the three bags in your arms. 

Orange raised his brow bone, “why didn’t ya just set them down?” 

“Well, I was going to… but I’m worried that the eggs are going to fall because they’re…” You trailed off after Orange had taken the groceries from your hands, “thanks- you didn’t have to!” 

“don’t mention it.” He smiled slightly and you nodded, pulling the keys from your pocket. 

“I really do appreciate it!” You thanked him yet again after you opened the door. 

You had turned to Orange to retrieve your bags, but he walked past you, letting himself in, “‘s no problem.” 

“Oh.” 

“where do you want these, honey?” he asked you, the nickname taking you off guard. 

“Uh- the kitchen counter is fine. You didn’t have to do this, you know.” You found yourself beginning to stutter. 

“heh, like i said, it’s no problem.” he wandered into your kitchen… and silently began searching through your cupboards. What? 

“Do you need something? I could make you a cup of tea.” You were confused to say the least. You knew Orange by name and not much else and he the same for you… yet now he was scavenging your kitchen. At least that’s what you thought he was doing… you still weren’t completely sure on that. 

“no, i’m good,” he then paused, “actually, tea does sound pretty nice.” 

“Okay… is ginger tea fine?” you asked, already starting the kettle. You couldn’t help but send several nervous glances to your… guest. 

“yeah.” he was still looking through your cupboards. 

What the hell was he doing? You weren’t sure how to respond… 

“hey do you have anything sweet?” 

You blinked, “excuse me?” 

“i’ve got a bit of a sweet tooth, hun… long story short, big bro found my stash.” he offered no further explanation and an awkward silence fell amongst you; the tension was palpable. Orange only stood there and his gaze had never seemed to leave you. To put it simply, this was somewhat unnerving and extremely uncomfortable. It had been too long to say anything, and the silence had begun to get you, it didn’t seem to bother Orange though. 

You had felt grateful when the kettle had begun to whistle and broke the silence, “that’s the kettle.” You said. 

“yep,” Orange nodded and you realized how awkward that sounded. 

“Yeah… ” you grabbed two mugs and avoided eye contact. 

Eventually, through unbearable silence, you finished preparing tea and brought both mugs to the table, Orange following close behind. Everything had gone somewhat well, the two of you exchanging small talk… and despite the awkward atmosphere you seemed to be keeping at least some conversation. 

You added a bit of sugar to your tea before taking a sip and realizing-

“WHAT THE HELL?!” You heard yourself yell, spitting out a mouthful a tea. Orange had snorted out his drink and was now laughing his head off. “What’d you do?!” you rushed to fill a glass with water, hoping it would cleanse your palate. 

“you should’ve seen the look on your face!” orangish tears were now forming in his eye sockets.

“Why the hell did you do that?!” 

“woah! calm down miss  _ salty  _ sally.” He laughed at his own joke. 

“That’s not funny.” You said, despite the grin spreading across your face. 

He took a sip of his tea nonchalauntly, “before you say anything else, honey, you’re gonna need to turn down your  _ salt  _ to zero.” 

“Oh my stars.” You covered your mouth to stifle a laugh.

“come on, you thought it was funny.” he winked. 

“I guess so…” You took your seat again, “but it wasn’t quite as funny as when you snorted out tea.” 

“really?” he asked you as he took yet another sip of tea, this time it spilled straight through his jawbone. You watched wide-eyed as it spilled onto his jacket, then looked back to him. He was keeping a damn good straight face, but you could see a smirk beginning to creep up on him. You snorted then couldn’t hold the eruption of laughter building inside you. You clutched your stomach tightly and your eyes began to water, this entire situation was too perfect not to laugh at. 

“worth it,” were the only words to escape his mouth, and he was now grinning from ear to ear. “the teas good, not sure if i’m a fan of the salt though.”  

You wiped tears from your eyes before saying, “I’ve gotta admit, that was jaw dropping.” 

You watched as Orange’s smile had somehow grown wider and he held up a pair of finger guns. 

Now you may be wondering how this has any relevance to the story, and later leads to what I had written earlier (see above). Well, I’m getting there. And by this little fourth wall break here I’m quickly going to transition you into plot driven dialogue because I’m too lazy to write any more filler… yay! 

“so... each month we have a big dinner at sans and pap’s place, usually we invite friends over, everyone brings somethin’. blue seems to like ya and i don’t think you’re too bad.” Orange started, twirling a lollipop in his mouth. “i’m sure none of us would mind if you stopped by.” 

“Is that an invitation?”

“yeah, something like that.” 

“Okay, sure! That sounds nice.” 

“cool,” Orange stood from his seat and buried his hands deeply inside his pockets, “I look forward to seein’ ya there.” 

“Should I bring anything with?” You asked as he began to make his way out.

“no, I don’t think you’ll have to worry-” he paused, “actually, it’d be great if you brought dessert.” 

“I gotcha, I’ll see what I can do,” you replied before Orange passed through the door- he walked straight through it. You did a double take on this, and replayed the scene in your head. This hadn’t come as much of a surprise, considering you had _already_ known that some monsters could teleport, but it was startling to experience without warning.  

 

After this though… there was a few events that took place that you could only think were the author’s way to incorporate a sense of comedy into this story, as they were too specific to be unintentional. 

Not long after Orange had made his startling exit, you had received several guests, one after another. (Perhaps there was some sort of recurring pattern here?)

“Oh- good afternoon, Sans.” You welcomed him, though perhaps annoyed by the fact that the author was using her own cliches (and it was only the seventh chapter)!

“hey, jus’ wanted to say thanks for hangin’ out with paps,” he said in his lazed voice.

“There’s no need to thank me, who wouldn’t want to be friends with him?” You asked in response. 

“heh, true. he was  _ bone tibia  _ a cool guy, ” he nodded, “speaking of which, we’re having a potluck kind of dinner, it’d make papyrus’ day if you came along.” 

“I was already planning on it.” 

“really?” he seemed surprised.

“Orange told me about it,” you explained.

He then waved and his reply was very similar to what Orange had said earlier, “cool. i’ll see ya then.” 

 

Then was Blueberry: 

“MISS, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME?” he asked rather loudly, that was straight forward. 

“-uh,” you knew what he meant, though you were certainly taken aback.

Only moments later he realized what he had said, “I- I MEANT WITH ALL OF US! PAPY, AND THE OTHERS- SEE IT’S…” he struggled for the right words. 

“There’s a dinner at Sans and Papyrus’ house, right?” 

“HOW’D YOU KNOW?!” 

“Orange and Sans already stopped by.” 

“OH! THAT’S GREAT! WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING ON MAKING?” his eyelights morphed into signature stars.

You couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm, “I’m not too sure yet.”  

“DON’T WORRY, IF YOU EVER NEED HELP, YOU KNOW WHO TO CALL!” He put his hands on his hips and grinned widely. 

“I’ll be sure to!”

 

Then Red…

“hey sweetheart, wanna go to dinner with me? Cause the only thing see on the menu is me-n-u.” 

 

Papyrus:

“HUMAN, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM INVITING YOU TO MY PLACE TONIGHT FOR DINNER!” 

“Sounds good, I’ll be there!” 

 

And strangely enough, Edge:

“I REFUSE TO ATTEND DINNER WITH THE LIKES OF YOU-” 

“Nice to see you too, Edge.” 

 

Before I continue onto the next scene, I will explain why wrote the previous scene in only three words. I was tired. Great, glad we cleared that up! If you are unsatisfied with that answer please leave a two paragraph comment below calling me an unfunny piece of shit. Now, you may say “why don’t you dont redo the previous scene?” to which I will answer, “I’M A LAZY FUCK.” Now, that being said, let us proceed. 

 

And staying true to my avoiding filler and throwing you into the deep end, you now found yourself in the middle of what felt like a dysfunctional family. Well, let’s just say there were two main problems… not pointing fingers here but… 

“I DON’T SEE THE SIGNIFICANCE IN THIS GATHERING!” Edge well… complained. 

“IT’S FOR MORALE BUILDING!” Blueberry informed the jagged skeleton, to which Edge scoffed. “EDGE, WHAT DID YOU BRING?” He was seemingly oblivious to Edge’s annoyance. 

“EXCUSE ME?!” 

“WHAT’D YOU BRING FOR DINNER? I MADE TACO SALAD-”

“OF COURSE, I BROUGHT MY  _ SUPERIOR  _ LASAGNA THAT DOESN’T EVEN COMPARE TO YOUR OTHER INFERIOR DISHES!” You couldn’t help but notice that Edge had purposely raised his voice (more so than usual) as if to inform everyone in the complex that he was a superior chef. 

“WELL, THAT WAS RUDE.” Papyrus cut in. According to the others’ reactions, this was somewhat normal, none seemed to be phased by the commotion.

Edge had paid no attention to Papyrus’ remark, “CONTRASTING TO YOUR POOR EXCUSES OF FOOD,  _ MY _ LASAGNA WILL HAVE YOUR TASTE BUDS TREMBLING BEFORE ITS GLORY!” by now he was only stroking his ego. 

“HEY! WE WORKED JUST AS HARD AS YOU ON OUR DISHES!” Blueberry argued. 

“PERHAPS, HOWEVER BOTH OF YOUR LEVELS AREN’T COMPARABLE TO MINE! NO NEED TO WORRY, PERHAPS ONE DAY YOU WILL GROW TO BE _ ALMOST  _ AS SKILLED AS ME!” you were almost certain that was Edge’s way of telling Blue and Papyrus to catch up to his level.

Papyrus then said, “THAT’S NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR FRIENDS!” 

To which, Edge replied, “OH MY GOD, YOU’RE GOING ON WITH THIS  _ FRIENDSHIP  _ SHIT AGAIN?!”

“come on edge, there’s no need for that.” Orange took the opportunity to step in, swinging his arm over the taller skeleton’s shoulder, “we’re all here to eat a nice meal, chat a little, and tell a couple of jokes. none of us want to hear your fucking attitude or your fucking language.” Orange spoke in a rather soft tone and with a smile on his face. Edge wasn’t too fond of this and pushed Orange off of him, stomping away to find himself a seat. 

“Is… is this a normal thing?” You asked the nearest two skeletons: Sans and Red. 

“yep, pretty much,” sans answered.

Red quickly followed by saying, “it’s just boss’ way of showing he cares.” Yep, so apparently calling others inferior was loving? Made sense. 

“He didn’t seem too caring to me,” your eyes began to wander, first to Blueberry who was now scolding Orange for his colorful language, then to Edge who was glaring at the three of you. 

“trust me, this is the nicest boss has been in  _ months _ .” considering that every past encounter with Red had been well… creepy, you were surprised that he was talking to you normally. 

“I guess I moved in at a good time then?”

“heh, i wouldn’t say that,” sans chuckled. 

“boss has been planing how to get rid of you for the past week-” red started. 

You cut in, “What?! I thought we were cool! We drank tea together and-”

“shhh! keep it down!” Red gestured to Edge, who was now staring daggers. 

You silenced yourself and whispered, “why’d you even tell me this?!” Red shrugged. 

After awhile, Red changed the subject, “it looks delicious.” he gestured to the tupperware in your hands. 

“Thanks, I made brownies-”

“i wasn’t talkin’ about the food, sweetheart.” he winked. Welp- that just happened. It’d be a lie to say you were surprised.

“I CAN HEAR YOU!” Edge yelled, fuming. 

“COOL!” Papyrus said to Edge before stepping into the center of the living room, “WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE TO PLAY GAMES WHILE WE AWAIT UNDYNE AND ALPHYS TO ARRIVE?” 

Blueberry gasped, “WILL IT PROGRESS THE PLOT OF THE STORY?” 

“i’m sure it will.” Orange replied- wait, what?!

* * *

 

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND- WHAT DO I DO?!” Blueberry panicked. 

“uh, you can’t do anything, bro. you’ve been sent to jail.” Orange answered, rolling the dice. 

“BUT I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG! WHY AM I IN JAIL?!” 

“Because you landed on the ‘go to jail’ spot.” You pointed out the square on the game board. 

“I’M A LAW ABIDING CITIZEN THOUGH!” 

“i don’t think that matters…” Sans was now flipping though the instructions. 

“OH! CAN I BREAK BLUE OUT OF JAIL LIKE IN THE MOVIES?” Papyrus asked. 

“sure, i guess,” sans shrugged, “it doesn’t say you can’t.” 

Papyrus turned to you, “WHAT DO YOU THINK, HUMAN?”

“Uh… I don’t know.” you said absentmindedly, trading properties with Orange. 

“THIS IS THE BEST HUMAN GAME EVER!” Papyrus exclaimed. 

“DAMMIT!” Edge yelled after landing on Red’s property. 

“Heh boss, that’ll be a hundred and seven…” red trailed off, “nevermind, you can stay there for free.” 

“GOOD!” Edge said.

“Is this your guys’ first time playing this game?” You couldn’t help but ask. 

“YES! HOW DID YOU KNOW?” Papyrus was helping Blue break out of jail, reenacting what looked like a movie scene with the racecar and horse pieces. 

“It was just a hunch.” You weren’t sure that any of them understood the goal of the game. Right off the bat, Papyrus had equally divided all the money, properties and houses, and everyone’s tokens were determined by an intense game of rock paper scissors. They seemed to be enjoying themselves though.

“MISS HUMAN, IT IS YOUR TURN NOW!” Blueberry informed you. 

“Okay, thank you-” you were interrupted by a rather loud knock at the door. 

Papyrus gasped and jumped up, “THAT’S UNDYNE AND ALPHYS!” He rushed over to welcome his awaited guests. 

“HEY PAPYRUS! HOW’S IT GOING?!” You turned to see a rather tall fish-like woman standing in the doorway. Her voice was somehow louder than Papyrus’, which came as a great surprise to you. She gave Papyrus a high five before stepping in. 

“IT IS GOING WONDERFULLY!” as Papyrus welcomed her to the living room, you saw a shorter dinosaur-like monster in tow. She seemed rather timid and was tugging at the hem of her dress nervously. 

“That’s great!” she had quieted down slightly, her eyes eventually falling to you. “Who’s the new kid, Papyrus?” 

“THAT’S OUR NEW FRIEND!” 

“Hi,” you stood and introduced yourself, “I moved into the apartment across the hall.” You held out your hand to shake hers. 

“COOL!” She stepped up to you and slammed her hand against your back, causing you to stumble forward, “ANY FRIEND OF PAPYRUS’ IS A FRIEND OF MINE!” 

“Thanks,” you gasped, catching your breath. 

“I-i-i-it’s nice to meet you, miss.” the dinosaur-like woman shook your hand, “my n-n-name is Alphys, and this is m-m-my girlfriend Undyne.” a light shade of pink dusted Alphys’ face. 

“It’s nice to meet you too!” You smiled, meanwhile, Undyne was already catching up with Papyrus and Blueberry. 

“S-so, how long have you lived here?” Alphys stuttered.

“About a week.” 

“Wh-what?!” she seemed rather surprised, “for that long?” 

“Yeah?” 

“No one’s ever lasted that long with those two around.” he gestured to Edge and Red. 

“And why is this, exactly?” you questioned. 

“I’ve heard they’re not the biggest fan of humans, b-because of where they’re from.” she whispered. 

Before you were about to ask any further questions, Undyne called her girlfriend over, “HEY, ALPHYS! THIS LOOKS LIKE BOARD GAME WE HAVE AT HOME!” 

“R-really?” she rushed over the the monopoly board, “o-oh- you’re right, this is the original version though. We have Cutie Kitty collector's edition. I only bought it originally because I thought that Mew Mew Kissy Cutie made a brand deal with the company, but it turned out that it was only a generic version though it’s  _ clearly _ based off of the anime!...” she had continued ranting for quite a while after this, in fact several minutes had passed before Alphys concluded with the single line, “and that’s why I think the creators of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie are absolute sellouts!” 

“Yeah!” Undyne agreed.

there was a short silence before Red said, “you finally done with your nerd shit?” 

“Actually the correct term in this case would be  _ geek shit _ .” Alphys corrected him. 

“does it look like i care?” 

You cleared your throat and raised your voice, “okay, let’s not do this right now. I’ve got a feeling that dinner’s getting cold, and I don’t think this-” you wildly gestured to the air, “-is working, so we can all chat nicely over food and  _ try  _ to get along.” 

Everyone had reacted differently to your words. Alphys had opened her mouth and raised her finger as if to contradict what you said but then stopped and nodded. Undyne had flashed you a smile and agreed with you, simply by saying “SOUNDS GOOD!”

Papyrus then said, “I TOO AGREE WITH HER, EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE ON EDGE TONIGHT!” 

Edge had actually misheard what Papyrus had said and replied with, “I SWEAR, IF YOU AND BABY BONES OVER THERE JUMP AT ME AGAIN, I WILL DUST YOU BOTH!” 

“MOST PEOPLE JUST CALL THAT A HUG, BUT TO EACH HIS OWN!” Blue cut in. 

“sounds good to me, hun.” Orange walked passed you, casually meandering into the kitchen. 

Red seemed to be confused, and Sans took the opportunity to make a joke, “hey, undyne, what’d ya bring? cuz i could really go for some spare ribs.” 

And on that note, the ever so casual scene skip was initiated. 

* * *

 

Okay… Imma level with you guys here before I move on to the next scene. So, I’m getting pretty bored of how this is going, and to me at least, writing this is getting a little repetitive. It’s very late at night right now and I feel like shaking things up here… aka, “I’m lazy and don’t feel like writing this chapter anymore so I’m gonna wrap this up” so, without further ado…

The end. 

Before you say anything, I know, I’m not funny, and that wasn’t even worthy to be called a joke. I’ll just go back into my writer’s corner then and slave over my computer. Now, because I want to finish this before I pass out from sleep deprivation, I’m going to make this final scene quick. 

 

Strangely enough, dinner had been rather quiet… well, considering that half the people in the room had little to no volume control. All that broke the silence were a few jokes (followed by groans) and small talk. Most of the jokes were unbearably cringe worthy, while others made you crack a smile. Let’s just say that there were many pity laughs throughout the night. 

To put things simply , You all ate dinner, watched a movie- leading Alphys to share her movie list with you, Undyne and Alphys headed home, you chatted a bit with Sans and Papyrus, then after ten rolled around… you said your goodbyes. 

“Thanks for having me over, tonight was great!” You thanked your neighbors. 

“WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO THIS AGAIN NEXT MONTH?” Blueberry asked. 

“Yeah! That’d be wonderful!” A couple skeletons raised their brow at your answer though you weren’t sure how Edge felt about this. Judging by his expression, he was either pissed or confused… or maybe happy? After a while, you finally reached the conclusion that Edge had two emotions; mad and slightly less mad. 

Papyrus and Blueberry both bid you goodbye with a hug, Orange and Sans with a wave, Red  _ attempting  _ to give you a hug but resulting in a simple handshake, and Edge, well… 

“Hey, Edge, I’ll see you too!” there was a long silence, “Cool, bye!” 

You waved to everyone before closing the door behind you and stumbling into your own apartment. You collapsed onto your bed and the wall of unconsciousness hit you the second you closed your eyes. It was a long day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY! That was a pretty long chapter! It came in at about 3.8k words and 16 pages, so WOW! This is the longest chapter I've written so far, albeit I cut this chapter short, BUT STILL! Speaking of which, there's that whole chunk of plot driven story, skeleton shenanigans, and quality dialogue that I left out there and I may be considering writing a bonus chapter/ pt 2  
> let me know if you want me to put that in, or you think it'd be a little repetitive
> 
> NOW, BEFORE I END THESE NOTES, I'm going to give a big thanks to Nisquick/Niskaru Fanfictions for helping me write a lot of these scenes, laughing at my jokes, and putting up with my lazy ass! It would make me a very happy author if you guys sent her some love! I linked her Ao3 page at the end of the story! 
> 
> Thanks for reading these notes if you did, and before I start ranting about how sad I am that game grumps changed their into, bye!


	10. Author's note :/

Okay, I'm just gonna say it, I am so sorry I haven't been updating. (It's been like... two months already) Um, I dont really have an excuse other than, lack of creativity.

Before you read any further, I'm just going to clarify, **YES, I WILL STILL CONTINUE THIS STORY.** I've not given up yet, believe me, this story has been on my mind these past few months, but I haven't really had the will to shit on my computer and click publish. I've tried re-writing this next chapter multiple times, and I think that it's best for me to take a step back and work on my other story for a little bit. 

When I do eventually update, I'll make sure that I have at least five chapters planned ahead so I can pick up the pace. Regarding when I update, I'd say that within the next two-three months I will pick it up again. 

Now, I know what you're thinking, that's a LONG ASS TIME! I know, I know, but if you like  _this_ story, I have some other shit that you can read! 

SO first off, I've been working on an Underfell Papyrus/Reader fanfiction, it's called, "a couple of cards" It's about a sarcastic cop and Papyrus, an edgy and temperamental skeleton. [Here's a link to that if you'd like to check it out! ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14725136/chapters/34035974)

Secondly, my friend, Niskaru has been working on an original fiction that I am a BIG fan of so far! It's a story that takes place in a fantasy world with a shit ton of magic, a shit ton of fighting, and a shit ton of casual firting. It's called "An Awakening of Chaos" and she is looking for feedback, so it'd be so fucking awesome if you checked that out! [Here's a link to _An Awakening of Chaos_!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805437/chapters/34255925)

AND thirdly, I know that my story is still pretty small, and not many people will read this BUT, if you like my writing then I am now taking oneshot or even story requests! Because I'm taking such a long break off of ARSS, I thought it'd be cool to take small requests and keep myself busy. If you're interested in me writing something for you you can send me an email at  **lemningsnurglez@gmail.com,** message me though tumblr (linked below). 

On a good note though, I have gotten a new computer and am now able to write much quicker so when I do start again, updates will probably be biweekly! 

Thanks for reading this, I once again apologize for this being an author's note and not another chapter. And with that being said, I hope you all have a good week!

**Author's Note:**

> For updates on chapters to come check me out on [Tumblr](https://purplelemning.tumblr.com)  
> If you have any inquiries, you can send an electronic message to lemningsnurglez@gmail.com  
> And finally, I want to thank two very important people that help me out with writing this story: [Niskaru_Fanfictions](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Niskaru_Fanfictions/pseuds/Niskaru_Fanfictions) and [Godith](alphagodith.tumblr.com)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Experiment of Endurance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13728711) by [luciole_etoile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luciole_etoile/pseuds/luciole_etoile)




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